Survival of the Fittest
by Malahi
Summary: Poor Rei is negotiator of the Bladebreakers, the mediator. No one seems to appreciate just how deadly and dangerous this job can be. Just how long can Rei survive when he’s stuck in the middle?
1. Prologue

**Summary: Poor Rei is negotiator of the Bladebreakers, the mediator. No one seems to appreciate just how deadly and dangerous this jo****b can be. Just how long can Rei survive when he's stuck in the middle?**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Beyblade. **

A distinct and familiar ringing. I open my eyes, swiftly sit up and with almighty morning-alertness find the tiny switch on the back of my alarm clock before it wakes anyone else up. With a loud yawn and stretch, with the sun welcomingly shining on my face and I grin ready to face the new day.

Stop. Rewind. That's how a good and perfect morning would go…if I were a morning person. Or if I wanted to get up at all for that matter. The only thing remotely similar is the distinct and familiar – yet incredibly annoying – ringing of my alarm clock. Oh joy…its morning. Can you sense the sarcasm?

In reality, without once opening my eyes I search around for the alarm clock blindly. My hand flails in all directions, sometimes in the completely opposite direction from where the sound is coming from. Well what can I say? Its hard to think in the mornings. My hand lands on something, but even in my semi-conscious state I can tell it's not the alarm clock because they tend not to be soft and silky. A rope maybe? Ignoring the ringing in my ears and Max's grumbling from the noise I wrap the newly discovered object around my hand as my neko-jin curiosity kicks in. What could it be? I'm too tired to bother opening my eyes to look, and being unable to identify it by touch alone, I give it a harsh tug.

OW!

Now that hurt! What the hell? It felt like someone just pulled the hair out my scalp! My eyes open automatically, blazing with unconcealed rage as they dart about, intent on finding who or what had caused me to suffer. Oh…I cough and try to conceal the blush on my cheeks even though I'm sure no one else is even awake yet. I discovered what the object was, and the source of my pain, as I find my super long hair wrap wrapped around my fist. Mentally I add 'pulling my own hair' onto my table of 'Rei's most idiotic moments.'

I seek out the alarm clock and after blinking a few dozen times my sight has eventually recovered enough to find the impossibly small switch on the back that turns it off for good. Phew. Looking over I see that no one has woken up, but that's not what I'm relieved about since a nuclear explosion wouldn't get Tyson out of bed unless it came with a six-course meal on the house. I'm just relieved to stop that annoying ringing. Ow my ears! I haven't even sat up yet and I've already been in pain twice. Damn Hilary.

Now why am I cursing Hilary when she won't even be in the dojo for another hour you ask? Because she's the one that provided the damned alarm clock so that we would be up in time for training. She gave it to me of course, because Kai gets up far too early to be human, and Tyson, Max and Daichi aren't responsible enough to flick a switch twice every twenty-four hours. And if Hilary hadn't given me the alarm then that stupid ringing noise wouldn't hurt my ears and consequently I also wouldn't have pulled my hair as I searched for it to switch it off either! Ha, once again the blame is successfully placed on someone else. Go me!

Then again, around here placing the blame really isn't that hard. After all, I'm Rei. I never do anything wrong except the occasional slip with my beyblade. It's everyone else that causes all the trouble, and then, being the only one that doesn't cause trouble seems to land me in the position of fixing it. Since I don't have my own problems (according to them) I should feel obliged to help everyone else in this crazy dojo. Actually, that's kind of unfair on the dojo, I should technically say crazy people that reside in the dojo. But I'm too tired for technicalities at the moment.

Now some might say that this job wouldn't be too bad. I mean, how hard could it be? Just sit back and try to reason out between two people the reasons behind an odd scuffle and then reach a suitable compromise. Ha! If that were the case I'd be jumping for joy, grinning from ear to ear and doing enthusiastic back flips through the air all at the same time!

But why is it so difficult to keep things under control? Simple. Because it's not just the _odd _scuffle. Every five minutes a brawl, yelling match, beating or something along those lines will break out. And I'm not exaggerating! Reason for difficulties number two: these battles begin without warning and many a time without logic either. There doesn't have to be a reason for one to begin, there doesn't have to be any logic behind it. What do I mean by no logic, well over my time in the dojo I have come across many illogical excuses for starting a battle. Allow me to give you some examples.

"He was looking at me funny!" That was Tyson, talking about Kai when he had been in a different room altogether…with the door closed…and locked.

"He started it!" That was Hilary after she crept up on Tyson first thing in the morning with a bamboo sword… While he was asleep.

"Her yelling broke Dizzi's sound card!" I bet you can guess who said that. Ok, well I'm not a master of technology, coming from a not very advanced mountain village and all but…how could Hilary's yelling break what was _inside_ the laptop? Or break the laptop at all? I mean surely if she had been yelling that loud then the screen would have cracked first. Maybe not the best example because Kenny is generally well-behaved, but he does have his moments.

"Draciel told me to!" That was Maxie on a sugar-high. To this day I've yet to convince him that Draciel is not a psychopathic prank-player but nothing seems to get through. It wouldn't be so bad if he had just stayed using blunt objects, recently though…well let's just say I'm lucky I still have my hair. Or my head.

"C'mon he was just asking for it!" Can't really recall what happened there but that was Daichi. Still that sentence alone proves there was no good reason for whatever he had done…I think the reason I can't remember is because I was punched in the head during the fight that followed…or was the fight before?

"He deserved it." Well that was Kai, and seeing as I couldn't get him to say much more after that I don't really know if Daichi really had deserved to be trapped in a cupboard for two days but I felt the need to include one of Kai's unexplainable moments just to make it fair on the rest of the team.

And there you have it, the introduction to my life. These are the unexplained and mysterious reasons of many fights within the dojo, and yet even with Gramps and Hiro here it seems I have to clear up most of the mess. But truly this is just the beginning. In any war there are alliances, groups which band together for a common purpose. Some members of the Bladebreakers are in more than one alliance, causing a lot of problems and are difficult to keep track of. The actions of these alliances can be either planned or completely random. Allow me to define the alliances.

Team Hyperactive – Tyson, Max and Daichi. Truly scary when these lot are about and are notorious for causing more trouble than anyone can bear.

Hilary – Ok, not really a team or alliance, but she's scary! I mean really scary when she gets mad. Sometimes Hilary and I make a brief alliance if anything gets out of hand and she's not directly involved but still. Scary! She's a one man army! And that's including artillery and reserves!

Team Logic – that would be Kenny and Hilary, and on occasion Kai. This alliance usually comes in to play during practise and beybattles.

Brotherly Alliance – the rare times when Tyson convinces Hiro to take his side. Not often, seeing as Tyson is usually in the wrong but when Hiro takes his side then nothing else matters. Hiro being the oldest of us, and our coach automatically wins any argument heads down. Unless the argument involves Kai, when that happens there are no winners since Kai just walks away without comment.

The Female Alliance – that would be Hilary and Dizzi, I'm all for equal rights but personally I think if Hilary wants to gang up on us, she should rely on a female with limbs.

The Idiot Alliance – Tyson and Daichi of course, usually going up against Team Logic. I see Daichi as a miniature Tyson, so multiply Tyson by two…and that's right, all hell breaks loose. Thankfully this only occurs when they actually agree on something, the something tends to be idiotic, hence the name.

Team Tate-Tachibina – Max and Hilary unite, usually as a voice of attempted reasoning. I like this team, if only because it takes some of the heat off of me. These nice people help me survive! Oh godly bringers of hope! Um…ok maybe a bit far, but without these two I'd have been dead long ago.

Kai – another one man army, winner of any argument for the sole reason he never continues it. If he says something, he expects it to happen, then and there, and hell to anyone that doesn't do as he says. On the very odd occasion he takes my side (usually this will only be after I've got a concussion and am unable to continue breaking up whatever fight is going on) he will step in and save my ass. Why am I the mediator? If Kai would just take a strong role of dictator and I'd have nothing to worry about…

And then on occasion there is the Illogical Alliances. E.g. Tyson and Hilary. Kenny and Daichi. Kai and anyone. You get the idea.

Now where do I, Rei Kon fit into any of this? To put it simply, I don't. I'm the man-in-the-middle, or No-mans Land, whatever you want to call it. Prepare yourself because I'm going to show you just what it's like to be me…and I can assure you its not going to be pretty…

**Well that's it for the prologue, basically just some background and that. I hope its okay, I promise it will get better though, its early days yet. **

**Anyways I don't intend for this to be Yaoi seeing as I've never written one before but if enough people want it to be then I can work it in. R&R and let me know what you think!**


	2. Just a regular crazy morning

**I…I have reviews! I'm speechless! Thank you sooo much! You guys are like my favourite people in the world right now! **

**Anyways, here's the next chapter which I hope you've all been waiting on the edge of your seats for…maybe that's expecting too much. **

**Disclaimer: Still don't own beyblade…but who knows what the future will bring?**

So where was I before I started to rant on about how much stress my team and there little groups cause me? Oh yeah, I had just switched off the alarm clock and proceeded to rant on for a while… Well good news! I'm now up and showered and dressed and looking slightly more alive.

Max and Tyson are still in the dojo snoring away. Daichi commandeered Tyson's room last night so I haven't seen him yet. I decided to leave them be, the sooner they are up the sooner I'll have to deal with Tyson complaining about a sore back resulting from not sleeping on his bed. Yeah I'll think I'll just let them rest a bit longer. Kai won't be happy that they've slept in but if the worst happens I'm almost fairly sure I can outrun him.

"Hey Rei, what's with that worried look on your face? Is everything ok?" I nearly jump out of my skin as Hiro appears in the corridor outside the kitchen, hand on his head and possible looking more zombie-like than I do after sleeping for less than three hours in two days.

Naturally I choose not to answer seeing as telling him that I think Kai will kill me might seem slightly unreasonable. "Party last night?" I ask instead, already knowing the answer. I had been up cleaning after Team Hyperactive when he came swaggering in at 3am so drunk that he called me 'Reeawahii'. How he got that out of my name I will never know, I should be offended for him brutally massacring my oh-so-simple name but that wouldn't be very Rei-like now would it?

"…Yeah…got a bit of a hangover. Don't get drunk ok?" Uh-huh, I figured that much Hiro. I resist the urge to laugh at him trying to be responsible after setting such a bad example. His advice falls on deaf ears anyway, wonder what he'd say if I told him I got drunk far worse than that back in China. My little uneducated village doesn't see anything wrong with giving large amounts of incredibly strong alcohol to children. Whoa what a night that was.

"Considering the state you came in last night I don't see the appeal." I chuckle a little and enter the kitchen leaving Hiro to worry about what bad examples he may have set the night before. I don't think he remembers anything, probably for the best. Upon entering the kitchen I see my team captain, wide awake at the small table and sipping from a steaming mug of concentrated caffeine. Yuck, how he can drink that stuff I'll never know but I won't comment, I'm probably in enough trouble as it is for not waking the others up.

Kai and I exchange our usual greetings, a slight nod of acknowledgement. Neko-jin abilities allow me to reach the high childproof cupboard and take out the stuff Hiro uses to help his hangovers and close the cupboard all in a single leap. I pour him a glass of water and have both items at his usual spot at the table before he can even navigate his way to his seat. Sitting down with a slump I hear a mumbled 'thanks' and after taking the tablets Hiro promptly rests his head in his arms and retakes his roll as the living-dead.

I blink a couple of times in confusion as Kai hasn't even asked the whereabouts of the others yet. Strange but I'm not complaining, maybe I'll even get breakfast this morning. A very rare occurrence for me but maybe, miracles can happen. "Where are the others Kon?" Kai demands suddenly, making me jump. I must have jinxed it, damn.

"I…uh…they're...in bed." I say somewhat guiltily, staring down at my feet to avoid looking at Kai's eyes because I know they're going to be glaring at me and attempting to smite me by staring alone.

"And what are they doing there Kon?" I flinch, hearing the accusation in his tone. "You're supposed to get them up." Right, now is time to find out whether I am truly faster than my team captain…I look up to see the window/my escape route but unfortunately met Kai's murderous eyes first. All thoughts of running suddenly disappear and are replaced by survival tactics. Feeling small and insignificant I fight to keep my eyes from slitting like they do when I feel my life is being threatened…they don't call it a death glare for nothing. I'm frozen to the spot, a deer caught in the headlights and the driver behind said headlights doesn't seem to be braking. "Go Kon." Kai turns away and I'm freed from the glare, hastily I retreat the room without a backward glance.

Only when I'm out of the kitchen do I allow myself to breathe. I look down at myself checking to see that I'm not ghostly transparent. Nope still solid. I'm not dead but if I had been exposed any longer…well I might not be so lucky next time. I scurry away before Kai's glare has a chance to melt through the wall. Kai's glare reminds me of Superman's laser vision that way, can burn through solid objects and has x-ray vision. That's where the similarities end though, I mean, can you really picture Kai wearing Superman clothes? Scary huh? At least if he was Superman I'd know his weakness and kryptonite him already.

I decide to wake Daichi up first since Tyson's room which he commandeered is closest. Plus Daichi makes so much noise he can probably help me wake Tyson up too. I turn the handle to the room and am not surprised to find that the door won't open. I try again just to make sure I have not been fooled by the complex technology of the handle. Nope, I'm pretty sure I won't get in this way. I want to growl and start beating the door down but not only would that freak the kid out but I'd have to pay for a new door. Sighing gently I knock politely on the door instead. "Daichi, can you get up please? Training starts soon!"

Kenny once explained to me that certain computer programs translate things from an English-like language to machine-code. I can't help but compare that to me, I think in a language similar to English, but not quite fully comprehensible because it contains numerous cursing and frustrated rants. Then program 'be nice and friendly' kicks in somewhere between my brain and my mouth. And voila, machine code or rather politeness and good manners roll off the tongue before I can comprehend who I'm even talking to. I'm sure there's a technical definition for that too...something system…I try to listen to Kenny, I really do but it makes so little sense! He's lucky I managed to learn as much as I have!

Anyway where was I? Oh yeah, attempting to get into Daichi's room, well Tyson's actually. Well of course since he is a miniature Tyson he doesn't wake up to such a normal greeting. I knock a few more times and give up. I'm going to have to do this the old fashioned way…I'll have to find where Hilary keeps her artillery… ok maybe not. I leave through the back door and into the garden, slipping on my shoes as I go. Then I stop by the vegetable patch. Why? Because I've secretly been growing my own lot of super spicy peppers that's why! It's an arrangement I made with Gramps when I first came. I cook the meals and he protects my peppers. It may not sound it but I can assure you that it's a very good deal.

Two extra spicy peppers are soon in my hand and then comes the tricky part. Stealthily I cross garden until I reach Tyson's window. Seeing as no one is around I duck low and run quickly with one hand in front of me in typical ninja-like pose. What? I'm allowed to be immature too you know! I reach the window and pull myself up onto the ledge. "Target sighted. Position; snoring away 10 degrees west." I decide to humour myself, changing from ninja to spy in a matter of seconds. I locate the cause of my earlier problems. The kid had barricaded the door, probably to keep angry intruders out. Such a pity it wont work with me.

Before I met Mr Dickenson I had spent a good deal of time living on the streets, and as ashamed as I am to admit it, I sometimes had to steal in order to find food etc. The team don't know this, they assume Mr D just took me straight from the village to Japan; I'm not going to correct them. I need every advantage I can get to keep on top of these guys and I'm not going to give any of them away willingly. I use my petty thieving skills to enter through the window without breaking it or causing it any damage.

"Proceeding with operation wake-up call." Well I couldn't think of a better name, you all should know what happens next. For those who don't I'll summarise…hot pepper, Daichi's mouth, Daichi's screaming, Daichi trying to charge through barricaded door in attempt to get water, Daichi falling over numerous times after suddenly realising I had got in the room without moving the barricade…etc etc. Eventually the mayhem stops and I shake my head as if this will somehow get my hearing back. Daichi had become mute part way through his little panic attack, not that I'm complaining. I wonder if Kenny can come up with something that can put him on mute for good? I miss silence.

My hearing returns and Daichi is still gawking at me and looking rather pale. If he was a little more observant he might notice the open window and stop worrying about me walking through walls. I'm not going to correct him, if he thinks I'm watching then he'll get up to less trouble right? Instead I smirk at him, making sure that a fang peeks over my bottom lip and he scrambles away from me. Notice that even after someone yells loud enough to cause temporary deafness no one has come running? That's just goes to show how regularly these things occur.

I walk past the now trembling Daichi and slide the chest of drawers acting as a barricade to one side with little effort. I'm impressed the kid could move them at all, considering his size and all. It goes against most laws of physics…then again many things do that e.g. beyblades, bitbeasts, random evil guys, neko-jin jumping abilities, most of our hairstyles etc etc.

Suddenly some strange angry roaring sound is heard and I attempt to exchange glances with Daichi as I would usually do with anyone present in the room at the time with me when such events occur. Unfortunately Daichi doesn't share the exchange glance rule and instead I'm met with a gust of wind and streak of red. No I am not dying as a result of just being hit by a hurricane, that's just Daichi running past at insane physics-defying speed. I follow on, contemplating taking a detour to grab one of those bamboo swords that Gramps waves around at us on a regular basis. Better not, if I'm late then we might have to go to the hospital again and I don't want to condemn another innocent doctor to the mental asylum.

The noise and blur that I suppose is Daichi lead me into the dojo anyway, and to be honest I'm not even remotely fazed by the scene set out before me. Tyson is soaking wet and struggling to get away from Max who is holding him back from a smirking Kai who is holding a now empty bucket in one hand. Déjà vu anyone? No just me, because I'm pretty damn sure something very similar happened like this two weeks ago. Allow me to narrate to you exactly what happened despite not even being there at the time to witness it. Since I, Rei, was taking too long to wake everyone up, Kai got frustrated and took things into his own hands. After multiple threats at a sleeping Tyson he gave up and instead filled a large bucket with ice cold water. He then threw said bucket of water over Tyson in an effort to wake him up. Tyson miraculously wakes up and starts trying to kill Kai, thankfully Maxie has woken up during all this commotion and attempts to restrain Tyson.

Ooh, wait, something different is happening this time. The Idiot Alliance has emerged! Daichi has now jumped onto Max's back, forcing him to let go of Tyson who is now charging at Kai. Who to save first? Daichi (or maybe Max, it's hard to tell who's winning. I don't think Max wants to hit a kid…wait a second…that means someone on this team has morals!)? Or Tyson? I would say Kai since he is the one being attacked but I sincerely doubt any harm will come to him.

Well that leaves no choice. I go to split up the battle between Max and Daichi first. In a few hurried steps I reach them and Max sees me coming with a look of relief in his eyes. Max does his best to stop moving long enough for me to pick Daichi up by the back of his t-shirt and deposit him on the ground. One problem though. Now the kid is flailing about trying to hit me! If I let him go now to go help Kai – or Tyson most likely – then he'll go after Max again…its not too often I'm faced with a double scuffle like this one. What to do what to do…

Ah ha! I grab one of Daichi's flailing fists and push it behind his back as gently as I could. Don't want to hurt the kid now do I? Hilary would never get off my back if I did. I force him to the ground so he's lying on his front then let go of his arm. "Maxie, sit on him." What? It's the best I could come up with! Max looks doubtful but does as he's told, leaving me free to go and attempt to break up the fist-fight between Kai and Tyson. Holy shit, did Tyson actually get a hit on Kai there? The world is ending, everyone hide for the apocalypse is coming! Pigs are flying across the falling sky alongside the blue moon! Yeah you get the idea. Tyson actually managing to hit Kai is well…freaky.

The fighting stops after that one hit, Kai reaches up to touch his face where a red mark is forming, for once shock evident on his face. Tyson looks shocked too, and scared. Hell I don't blame him, Kai is not going to take that lying down… For the first time in history the dojo is silent, the tension in the atmosphere so thick that we would need Gary's Bear Axe attack to cut it. Daichi has stopped breathing it's that tense, or perhaps Max sitting on him is crushing the air out of his lungs.

Ever so slowly Kai's face turns from shock into one of pure anger. His hand lowers and he clenches his fists tightly at his sides. Kai had never looked so terrifying since the Black Dranzer incident. Tyson gulped loudly which proved to be the signal as Kai pulled back his fist to his waist, fury and bloodlust in his eyes. Spy Rei suddenly turned into a bodyguard and with insane neko speed I launched myself in front of Tyson just as Kai threw his deadly punch of fury. This scene seemed familiar, a lot like that overdramatic Hollywood movie Max forced them all to watch the other night. Rei could practically hear the cheesy dramatic _"NOOOO!"_ as the hero had thrown himself in front of the bullet of some sniper.

_I collapsed against Tyson, blood pouring out my mouth as a result of some surely deadly internal bleeding. Tyson began calling my name, yelling something about an ambulance…but I knew it was too late for me. "I'm…sorry…" I gasped my last breath and went limp in the middle of some sidewalk in the __centre of New York…uh wait a minute, what the hell?_

"Dude you ok? I think Kai's punch knocked you out for a minute there."

Really? I never noticed! Note to self: don't let Max make me watch over dramatic movies before getting knocked out. Who knows what freaky and odd things your imagination might come up with because of it. I just subconsciously replayed the ending part of the movie in my head with me and Tyson replacing the main characters…Now i have proof, Tyson's insanity is contagious.

"Don't worry I'm good."

**Well how was that? Pretty random and nothing much happened but I think it was ok. But that's just my opinion. What really matters is what YOU think. So let me know people, R&R!**


	3. What happens when you

**Hey guys, I'm having a bit of trouble keeping these updates coming regularly because only a genius such as myself would start a fanfiction in the middle of my exams…Yeah not my brightest idea yet, anyway I'll try and not keep you waiting for too long but no promises until exams end on the 18****th****. Thank you to all who reviewed and all those who randomly read. This is my most popular story yet! Ok, this is my only proper/chaptered story yet…but that's beside the point. **

**Disclaimer: Didn't own Beyblade last chapter and I don't own it now. Miracles can happen though!**

Hey everyone, bet you're all desperate to know what happened after this mornings antics? Well sorry to disappoint, but not much. Kai wandered away somewhere after punching me in the gut, which just so happened to give me such a bad stomach ache that I couldn't eat breakfast. Not that I would have eaten breakfast anyway or anything, not only do I not have enough time to indulge in basic sustenance but eating without at least feeling a little queasy while Tyson is at the table is as impossible as slamming a revolving door.

Hiro? Well he's ignoring his duties as coach right now in favor of leaning over the toilet. I'm not surprised, Tyson's eating habits combined with a hangover could leave anyone bedridden for more than a day. I'm guessing Hiro will reappear around noon if we're lucky. I knock on the door to the bathroom and listen intently to the various disgusting noises that make me think of the livestock back home.

"Hey Hiro, are you alright?"

"I'm…" I cringe at the sound of Hiro throwing up yet again. Charming Hiro, just charming. "…I'm fine..." Yes, like me and most other guys Hiro refuses to admit to being ill, even if all evidence states otherwise. The brave face I'm sure he's putting on is going to waste however because we are separated by a thick wooden door.

"Come on Hiro, we know your not!" Ow Hilary! That hurt _my _ears, what's it going to sound like to poor Hiro? Oh yeah, Team Logic arrived just a little while ago and Hilary has now joined my crusade of getting Hiro out of the bathroom. Hilary doesn't seem to realize that this sickness was self-inflicted so to speak, and so is being overly and scarily caring. To be perfectly honest I'm just trying to get him out so we can start training. I've already been KO'd once by Kai today and I'm definitely not eager to make it a second time.

"Ugh…"

Hmm, ok now I'm genuinely concerned. Hiro has now resorted to incomprehensible groaning which is quite unlike him.

"Just hurry up and get him out of there! I really need to use the bathroom!" Oh, and Kenny is beside me too, hopping about from foot to foot. He must really need to go, his voice is higher than Hilary's and Dizzi is nowhere in sight. This could be a problem…

"Um Hiro, will you be out of the bathroom anytime soon? The Chief really needs to go." Sometimes I have to curse that little politeness program of mines. What I had really intended to say was 'Hiro get your ass out here now, Hilary is screeching like some possessed banshee/harpy thing and Kenny wont shut up either!'

"Yo little dudes and dudette, what'cha homies all doing in this part of the crib, you homies in a jam?" Gramps has just arrived but I doubt that he's going to be much of a help. One thing I never understood about Gramps is that he knows for a fact that most of the Bladebreakers are not native speakers, yet he insists on speaking in the most weird mixed up dialect that's a cross between slang, rap and hippy-speech. The Brotherly Alliance sometimes struggle trying to understand this guy, what chance do the rest of us have!? He's looking at me seeing as I tend to be the designated problem solver of most situations within the dojo but I haven't a clue what he just said and therefore cannot reply. Hilary is superstitious so I attempt to psychically send her a message to translate what he just said.

No such luck so I blink a couple of times in confusion. You may all understand but for me he might as well be speaking German. Now he's giving _me_ an odd look, something tells me it should be the other way around. Well Hilary hasn't picked up my message yet so I should probably say something… "Um…Pardon?" Round of applause for that very educated response Rei! Well done, you win first prize; an embarrassing situation! If I can make it through today with any dignity left I'll consider it a successful day.

Woo, at last my message gets through and Hilary replies for me. Apparently explaining why Hilary and I are leaning with our ears pressed to the bathroom door and Kenny is now doing a jig. Gramps chuckles and yells some more gibberish through the door to Hiro and I practically tackle Hilary out of the way to save her from being trampled as Hiro rushes out of the bathroom and Kenny charges in, all within 0.5 seconds. Hilary looks shocked, so am I. Judging from Hilary's expression I don't want to know what Gramps just yelled. Curiosity killed the cat but I'm oddly satisfied with my ignorance right now. I don't even want to know what could make Hiro run that fast.

I sigh in relief, at least that's one problem sorted. I wait for Kenny to leave the bathroom with a look of relief on his face before I enter and start fixing my hair in front of the mirror. Its not that I'm vain, its just that when Hiro was Jin of the Gale he was capable of causing tornadoes indoors, so it stands to reason that after that little burst of speed my hair is going to be a complete mess. It is. I growl in frustration and get to work on it, not emerging from the bathroom until twenty minutes later…and now I'm going to be late for practice…Oh shit. If anyone asks its Hiro's fault!

I run out of the dojo at hair-wrecking speeds and into the yard, skidding to a halt that almost left me flying into the koi pond. Obviously I ignore this minor detail and pretend that I had meant to come so close to becoming thoroughly soaked. And then I realized I didn't have to pretend because no one was even there! Where is everyone!? They wouldn't have started without me would they? Right? Right! I'm probably just a bit early and they haven't come out yet…who am I kidding, I spent twenty minutes fixing this hair of mines so Kai will have chased everyone into their morning jog by now. They could have sent someone in to get me! I growl and bare my teeth a bit, and since no one else is around…

"Bastards."

Did I just say that out loud? Attention everyone, Rei Kon has just said his first bad word out loud _ever._ Somebody alert the media! Actually don't, that would be bad publicity and the fan girls are bad enough. I feel both ashamed and oddly proud at my accomplishment though. They deserved it anyway…even if they didn't hear it.

I sigh and decide to try catching up to them, they can't be that far ahead right? I start running full speed, the sooner I catch up the less punishment I'll receive…actually punishment might not be a bad idea, not my punishment of course, I mean for the Bladebreakers. Perhaps if I were to say, deprive Tyson of food for a whole twenty minutes that might make my life a bit easier? Pfft, never in a million years, then I'd have to cope with hundreds of complaints and death glares and that would just be oh so wonderful now wouldn't it. Sarcasm anyone?

I've been running for about ten minutes now and still haven't caught up with them, I can't even hear Hilary's usual slave-driver yelling and I'm starting to get a bit confused, not to mention tired. We've run this path every day for the past two years, if they've changed the route now then I swear I will have to kill someone. Well, mentally kill someone, since I'm just too nice to do it in real life.

Ok, not even an athlete could keep up this pace for much longer, it's supposed to be a jog, not a five mile sprint. Time to stop I think. Or maybe just a little farther, I like pushing my limits.

_THUD_

Yeah ok, maybe I should have stopped earlier. I admit that I'm not the best at knowing when to stop (battle with Brian), and apparently I'm not the best at judging how far away that rock was because I just tripped over it. Rei Kon, clutz undercover. Yes I really am a clutz, for some odd reason these moments of clutziness never seem to occur whenever anyone else is around. This would usually be considered a good thing, but what if I have a really clutzy moment and fall off a bridge or something, in that case I would really prefer to have someone nearby seeing as I cant swim. In my minds eye I can practically see the warning signs. Clutziness; requires adult supervision. Keep out of reach of Tyson…um children.

So you get the idea, unbeknownst to the world I am not the graceful feline-like blader that always lands on his feet. In truth I probably spend more time off my feet than on them. Now is one of these times because I'm lying face down on the grass courtesy of an evil demonic rock, you know people never spend enough time to appreciate the grass up close, its all green and…green…yeah that's probably why people don't try and appreciate it, its pretty boring.

Suddenly a boot appears in front of my line of vision, accompanied by another one funnily enough. Odd, I could swear that I've seen these boots before.

"Kon, what the hell are you doing?" Gyah! Those boots belong to Kai. He's not going to kick me or anything for being late for practice is he? Calm down Rei, remember survival training, don't let them smell fear. Wait that's for dogs! Lie down and play dead, actually I think that's for bears. Well since I can't think of anything close to Kai that appeared in my survival training I go for the play dead option. Kai could be a bear, for all we know he could be hibernating when he mysteriously disappears.

"Kon?" Wow it must actually be working! Now just to wait till he disappears…wait he's not moving away, actually I think he's coming closer. Oh, now I get it, even if it is Kai he probably wouldn't leave one of his teammates and possibly closest friend lying 'dead' on the ground. How nice. No matter how nice Kai is though, he doesn't check for a pulse or anything, nope, not our Kai. Instead he pokes me in the ribs casually with his boots, obviously looking for some sign of twitching to show I'm worth the energy to call an ambulance for. Well before he decides to bury me so that the police don't expect he was involved, I had better do something.

"Ugh…good morning Kai." See how great my acting skills are? Very few could casually sit up and stretch while keeping a straight face after pretending that it is perfectly normal to wake up outside, on the grass in a little park-like area just outside the city. Then again I am from the White Tigers where sleeping outside naked when its minus five degrees can be considered normal so long as its mentioned in some worn and decaying book.

"What are you doing?" Ah the inevitable question. I can either reveal the fact I tried to hide from him and attempt to explain the similarities between him and a bear and then likely be killed as a result or I can make something up.

"Well I was trying to catch up with you guys and then got tired and must have fallen asleep." Ok, so there's some questionable logic in that, but Kai is a guy of few words and pointing out these flaws will make him have to speak more than his daily limit. Yes, Kai has a daily limit of words, he purposely speaks no more and no less than three hundred words per day. Oh, and his trademark 'Hn' doesn't count as a word in case your wondering. How do I know this? Well let's just say it involved a couple thousand fan girls blocking the exit to our hotel for a three terrifying days.

"Hn. Good luck with that."

"Good luck? But I finally caught up with you didn't I?" This is why I hate 'talking' to Kai, it's impossible to get a straight answer.

"No training today, we have a meeting with Mr Dickenson in an hour. Tyson was supposed to tell you. Obviously he didn't." The only reason he gave me such a straight-forward answer is because I jinxed it I swear! But wait…you mean I ran all that freakin' way for nothing! Damn you Tyson, I took a punch for you not long ago and this is how you repay me. That little bastard. Sorry for getting in the way earlier Kai.

Oh, and now Kai is looking at me weird…and now laughing. Why? Oops, must have said that last part out loud. I think my politeness program may have a glitch in it. But let's get back to the point, Kai is laughing! Kodak moment and I don't have a camera, or anything to record this unnatural phenomenon. I guess the caring and calm Rei Kon cursing his own teammate with his second ever outspoken bad-word could be considered humorous to Kai.

I stand up and wait for Kai to calm down a bit and we walk back to the dojo in silence. Silence because Kai doesn't converse and I'm too busy thinking of numerous ways to torture Tyson to try. There is a reason why I am considered Kai's best friend, and that's because I'm the only person he can withstand for any length of time. How do I manage this? Well simple, I'm quiet and so long as I don't talk or cause a fuss I am then considered bearable. But since I don't talk around him I'm not sure if Kai really sees me as a person, more of a…piece of breathing scenery.

We reach the dojo without incident. If there had been an incident coming I'm sure Kai could have glared it away anyhow. But just as we enter into the yard we hear a scream coming from inside the dojo. A very high-pitched scream meaning that it came from either Hilary or Kenny. Oh crap, if they weren't doing their morning training then how long had they been on their own for? It's a miracle the building is even standing!

Unlike Daichi, Kai does follow the exchange glance rule and we run full speed into the dojo and down the hall...and then I run back because I forgot to take my shoes off, oops. I never thought there would be a time and place for bad manners but Kai seems to think this is one of them because he's giving me a rather odd look. I just shrug. "What?" Kai slaps his forehead and we start running again and I try not to think of how much cleaning I will need to do to get rid of Kai's boot prints. Maybe I can get whoever is causing bother to clean it as punishment, assuming I survive whatever's I'm running into that is.

Survival seems very unlikely at the moment actually…because we've just found the Idiot Alliance aka. Tyson and Daichi, with a bunch of _fireworks _and Team Tate-Tachibina looking wide-eyed and very scared. Who the hell gave them fireworks!? Wait…my neko-jin senses are picking up the smell of…smoke. Oh no. Oh no no no no no no, please tell me that's just Hiro attempting to cook again. No such luck, because if I'm not mistaken Tyson and Daichi, despite everyone's obvious dislike of the idea has set one alight, right above the pile of others. We're all hypnotized by the short fuse that is ever so steadily disappearing and will likely cause the dojo to explode when it goes off…oh shit. Don't they teach basic safety at Tyson's school, not only does he have a whole pile of explosives indoors but he's holding and leaning over the stupid thing!

Shit, the fuse. I snap into action yet again with the intent of saving Tyson's sorry ass. Somehow I manage to wrestle the explosive from his grasp and…now what? I'm holding a bloody explosive! What the hell was I thinking, I should have left it with Tyson and dragged the reasonably sane ones out the window!

…

…

…

Shit! There's practically no fuse left! Tyson if I die then I'm haunting you for this! At least I'll go out with a bang.

"Rei, the window!"

Oh…Ok, that's a good idea. Despite being punched in the gut by him earlier on I'm starting to like Kai today, oh holy one that points out windows. I run to the window and throw the firework out as if it were a grenade, which in truth it might as well be. We all watch as it blows up in mid-air in a big sparkling deadly light show barely a second after I had gotten rid of it.

Collective sighs of relief all around apart from the Idiot Alliance which sighs in disappointment. I sink to the floor and don't plan on getting up again until I calm down somewhat. Hilary has managed to retrieve the box of matches from them and is storming away to the bathroom, meaning she either wet herself from the scare or is planning on flushing the matches down the toilet. Max is gathering the remainder fireworks very hastily and Kai…well he's pounding Tyson and Daichi into the floor. I really should step in but…

You know what, I said I wasn't moving till I'm calm and that's what I'll do. I haven't managed to fit in much meditation lately…

**Done, personally I don't think this one was as good as last chapter but let me know. Sorry it took so long I wrote it like three times before I felt it was acceptable. R&R! It makes me happy! **


	4. Muffins and Movies

**Hey everyone, sorry for taking so long to update, I tried so many times to get it right but it seemed as though my humour ****disappeared when I was doing my exams. There we go, proof that exams turn us all into humorless zombies. Well, I just finished my last exam yesterday and now I'm back. Hopefully this will make up for the delay. Thanks to all my reviewers and random readers. You're the greatest, well Rei is actually the greatest, but you're not far behind!**

Hey, Rei here again. I'm now leaving the new BBA building with the rest of the team after an extensive four hour meeting. It was deadly! No, really it was. Not the boredom kind of deadly but the oh-my-god-I'm-too-young-to-die-take-Kenny-instead kind of deadly. You see there were hoards of fangirls that were camping outside the building waiting for whatever blader they wanted to kidnap to come by, and unfortunately it was just my luck that Maxie and I were selected as the decoys while the others sneaked in. Apparently the short-straw method of choosing these things is completely random but it seems that I always get the worst deal. Maxie was my unlucky partner in near-death this time. It was a whole hour before we could track back to the building and get in, and by that time we were half dead.

I know what you're thinking, how can being famous be so bad? All you have to do is sign a couple of autographs here and there and be adored by millions of people. Well, maybe for some. But for us, the majority of fans are the fangirls and beyblade fanatics. I like beyblade fanatics, they're good competition in groups of twelve or more…meaning that unless they're professional level they're not any good. And the fangirls…well that's another story entirely. Let me give you an example. You all remember Miguel right? The guy from Barthez Battalion that is according to Hilary 'extremely hot' and the new teenage heartthrob for blading and non-blading girls almost world wide? And on a more personal level, the one that beat me during the third world championships with a rigged beyblade? Yeah, him. Well he was fairly new to the concept of fans, and on one occasion while looking through this newly acquired abundance of fanmail decided to reply to one. Yes, he replied. Mr D was telling us about this at the meeting today and has warned us for our own safety under no circumstances to reply to these, because when Miguel replied to the seemingly sweet and innocent fan he actually got himself a stalker. According to Mr Dickenson she had got into Miguel's hotel room last week while he was asleep. Poor guy, if Mathilda hadn't woken up when she did there would be a global search party going on right now.

So you get my point, fangirls are scary! Really scary. I might not be as popular with the girls as Miguel but after enough "Rei, you're so hot!" which then eventually turned into "I want your baby, Rei!" I started to get worried. If it weren't for Mariah flirting with me constantly I think I probably would have already had at least half a dozen kidnap attempts. Thankfully Mariah is scary when she hisses and manages to keep them off me.

Oh, and for all those wondering, there is not actually anything going on there. My arranged marriage to Mariah was the _other_ reason why I left the village. Neither of us were ready for marriage, Mariah had found some other guy who Lee is still trying to hunt down to this day (poor guy, I feel sorry for him whenever Lee finally identifies him) and I couldn't be exposed to bright pink for more than twenty minutes without a headache. Really. Basically its just harmless flirting between the two of us, it saves me from the fangirls, Mariah from the fanboys, and it gives the media a nice little story to write about. How thoughtful are we?

Oops, went on a complete tangent there. Bad Rei, focus! Right, so the meeting, we were informed about a fundraiser taking place next week to well, raise funds obviously. It's for the new BBA building which is gradually expanding as the money comes in, and they met the slight snag of building half a floor then running out of funds. Anyway apparently we'll be battling the Majestics, who have agreed to donate the same amount of money that is raised in tickets, meaning quite a sum. Naturally the BBA jumped at this opportunity and next week we'll be battling head to head against our old rivals the Majestics. I'm eager to defeat my culinary rival Oliver more than anything, seeing as our last battle ended in a tie. I'm still kind of annoyed at that, a tie when someone is wearing 'armor' like _that_ cant even be considered honorable, hell a clear win would still have seemed pretty bad.

Mr D also took Hiro and Kai aside to discuss some matters that were evidently not meant to be discussed with the rest of the team yet, much to the rest of our annoyance. When we confronted Hiro about it he said that he'd tell us when they worked out some details, meaning we have some big heck of a surprise coming up that we don't know about. I tried to overhear some of it but I think Mr Dickenson had the next room soundproofed just to thwart my superior hearing.

Speaking of superior hearing and neko-jin curiosity there seems to be an odd argument occurring between Max and Hilary, or Team Tate-Tachibina, whatever you wish to call them. Hilary is blushing slightly and whispering in hushed, angry tones while Max is speaking equally as quiet but is a bit more amused. I really hope he hasn't got her too mad or we'll be making another scene in public which can be really quite embarrassing.

Right, now Hilary is getting a bit more frantic…I really shouldn't listen in. Nope, bad Rei, resist temptation. My left eye begins to twitch under the strain. Neko-jin curiosity truly is unavoidable. This is basically the thoughts of neko-jins mind when he or she is curious about something; 'what is it? What is it? What is it? Whatisitwhatisitwhatisitwhatisit…' etc. until eventually the neko-jin finds out or goes insane. It's been known to happen. Well if my sanity is the factor in question then surely they won't mind if I listen in a little bit right? I walk closer behind them, trying to make it seem as if I'm merely catching up with the group.

"…How could you even say that Max! There is no way. No way at all, ever!"

"But Hil, its so obvious. It's written all over your face, look, you're even blushing!"

…This is doing nothing whatsoever to settle my curiosity, hurry up and say what the damn thing is and stop beating around the bush!

"I am not blushing. It's hot out here!"

I look up at the sky…its cloudy, like its going to rain within the next half hour. Hilary really needs to work on her excuses.

"Hilary it's cloudy, and it's going to rain soon. You're definitely blushing!"

Took the words right out my mouth Maxie, do we have some sort of psychic thing going on here? Hm, I need to test this theory out, so if I was to think of something say, really random would Max say it out loud? Something random…hey that street vendor is selling muffins over there. Muffins, that'll do. Ok, clearing thoughts, think only of the muffins. I blink once, then twice as suddenly the oddity of the situation occurs to me. I'm trying meditation techniques on bloody muffins! Insanity is contagious I swear it, I'm blaming the water supply.

"Muffins!"

What the hell, it worked!? Wait, that wasn't Maxie that yelled, it was Tyson. So I now have a psychic connection with Tyson do I? Freaky. I think I've gone pale just from the sheer prospect of having a mind-link with Tyson, I mean who knows what goes on in that boys mind? Oh wait, crisis averted. Tyson just spotted the same street vendor that I had a minute ago and has now ran over to buy a muffin, Daichi hot on his heels. Muffin man…what a strange occupation, I wont question it though.

"Oh no, this is so embarrassing." Hilary hides her face behind a hand and I can't help but mentally agree, the poor muffin man...why does that remind me of a nursery rhyme?

"C'mon it's not that bad Hilary. He just likes food! And at least he's not killing the salesman." Max tried to reason with her, all the while laughing at his friend's idiocy.

I feel the need to speak up with some sarcastic comment, usually I keep them to myself but I allow myself one or two per day. "The salesman is still alive but Tyson won't be when Hiro notices his wallet missing." Being the observant person that I am I noticed Tyson pick pocketing his sibling's wallet on the way to buy muffins. I can see this isn't going to end well.

Oh, Tyson's on his way back now and is coming towards us with a bag full of muffins, one in his mouth, one in one hand and a bag full in the other. "Hir Hiwry, I mnof mfow muh yao ike moofwermy." He states while offering a muffin to Hilary.

"Sorry what was that Tyson?" Hilary asks looking as if Tyson had just spoken a foreign language, which in truth he might as well have. Max was looking equally confused.

I however had to deal with Gary's eating habits for much longer than these guys have had to deal with Tyson's. Therefore I interpret for them. "He says 'Here Hilary. I know how much you like blueberry.'" Tyson gives me a thumbs up showing that I translated correctly.

"TYSON!" And there he goes in a cloud of dust. For eating so much that guy can sure run, he's now getting chased around the street by Hiro who is looking pretty damn annoyed. I'll deal with that later, right now I want to find out what Max is laughing about.

"Look at you Hilary, you like him! And he has to like you too, I mean, he shared food with you, to Tyson that's practically a marriage proposal!" Max is teasing and Hilary is blushing so bad that I'm actually wondering if she is sunburnt.

Hold on, does that mean what I think it means? It would explain all the blushes from Hilary lately, and Tyson being a bit nicer to her than usual. Is there something going on there, methinks that there is. Ha, I know they say opposites attract so by that rule Tyson and Hilary should be joined at the hip soon enough. But I had better verify things first before I decide to attempt playing matchmaker. "You like Tyson!" Not the best and subtle verification but it'll do. I'm immediately shushed, and Hilary is looking as if she wants to throttle me. Aww, so I'm right.

"Yeah she does, we should totally set them up Rei!" Max exclaims happily and I can't help but agree. That'll have to wait for now though, because Hilary looks _really_ mad at us right now, and Hilary is scary when she's mad. Like the Hulk, except female, a lot smaller, and not green.

Instinctively the three of us move apart just in time to allow Daichi and Tyson to run past, followed closely by an angry Hiro who might want to consider joining in our training so he can keep up with them. When they've gone a safe distance our small group of three merges together again, only to break apart when an angry Hilary finally remembers what she's mad about.

"Max you said you would keep it a secret!"

"But he more or less found out himself. I just told him he was right!" Max yelled in defense as he begins running, Hilary close behind and flailing her tiny handbag around as if it were a weapon. Wait, its _that _handbag, meaning that it is a weapon. The small one with the long strap that she swings about which picks up momentum and hits you like a sledgehammer… I need to be more careful what I buy that girl for birthday presents.

Well this is going to take a while to sort out, and I'm going to have to endure public embarrassment anyway so I'd best get started before we attract a crowd. I hear Kenny and Kai gasp nearby. Both look rather pale, and pale for a Russian and someone that barely leaves the room is paper white. Things must be bad. Hesitantly I turn my head, and there they are…hoards and hoards of fangirls, they must have followed us out the BBA building. They're terrifying, wide eyed and grinning. And we're the only three that have noticed them, the rest caught up in their own arguments. Kai and Kenny back away slowly.

Oh no, I need to get Maxie out of here. If I hadn't said anything then he wouldn't be getting chased by Hilary so it would be my fault if he were caught. The others…well I think Tyson and Daichi deserve more punishment for the fireworks earlier and Hiro…well it will serve him right for messing up my hair. Also I wouldn't be able to drag him out of here, he's too big.

Suddenly my ears are assaulted by a high pitched squeal as the fangirls decide to collectively run at us. Kai and Kenny take off running, the others have stopped to see what the noise is about and are doing pretty good impressions of fish. Time to make my move. It takes me a minute to remember how to move my legs but once I've figured that out I'm next to Max before I know it. Half a second later and I've got Max hoisted over my shoulder and I'm running.

"But Rei, what about Hilary!" Max yells at me.

"No problem, the fangirls wont be interested in her. Plus she has that bag to defend herself."

Max shivers in fear of the bag. It's an evil thing; don't know what possessed me to buy it. "But Rei, what about everyone else?" I glance over my shoulder at the hoards of oncoming fans now attacking Tyson, Daichi and Hiro. I can't believe I'm actually going to do this...I put Maxie back on his feet. "Rei?"

"Max, look after Drigger. If I don't come back then he'll know where I am….I think." He managed to find me in the middle of the Asian tournament during a battle, he'll find me if I'm mauled beaten and gagged by a hoard of fans right? Right? Well, that'll be the case if the fans don't kill me first. And with that I leave Maxie in my dust, with my resolve slowly crumbling the closer I get to the fans. I need to save the guys though. Shit, too late to turn back now…

* * *

Two hours later and I'm in the sitting room, bloody, bruised but alive. And somehow despite Hiro, Tyson and Daichi getting caught a lot sooner, I'm the one that's the worst off. Daichi hasn't got a scratch on him, Tyson is a bit bruised but half of those bruises came from Kai earlier. Hiro is a bit worse, he lost his shirt and jacket in the scramble, but his Jin of the Gale abilities got him away before he received more than a few bruises.

And me? Well, turns out of all those that were left to fend for themselves next to the muffin stall, I was the most popular. Meaning I was the main target, running back there was one of the biggest mistakes I have ever made. I managed to clear a path for the guys, giving them their chance to escape, and suddenly all the fangirls are attacking me. Hiro actually had to come back and get me out of there, then half-carried me back to the dojo because I was partially in shock.

"I found an icepack for you Rei, put it on your head and it should reduce the swelling."

"Thanks Hil. Where's the rest of the guys?" Seriously it's been so quiet that I'm starting to get suspicious. Quiet is not normal around here. I don't think 'quiet' is even a word around here.

"They're renting tonight's movie. It's Monday so Kai will be choosing."

Oh yeah, wait, Kai's choosing. Greeeaaat. That was sarcasm for those who didn't pick it up. Every night one of us goes out and rents a movie for the rest of the team to watch. There's seven days in a week and excluding Hiro there's seven of us. Kai's day to choose is Monday, why Monday? Because that was the day Tyson wanted of course. Tyson always chooses those immature teen movies, Max goes for anything Hollywood, Daichi likes the more cartoony movies that drive most of us insane, Hilary likes Romance which has us guys trying to leap out the windows, and Kenny likes Sci-fi. And Kai…well that's another story, he doesn't actually like movies, hell he doesn't even like TV. Nope, something as braindeadening as TV could never appeal to our mighty team captain. So instead of watching the movie, he likes to watch us squirm. Somehow Kai manages to rent the most horrifying, gruesome and downright freaky movies ever, even when there is an age limit on them.

Sure enough the rest of them come in a few minutes later and Kenny slides the DVD into the player and does all the high-tech stuff that would amaze the White Tigers to no end. Kai switches the lights off and takes his usual seat while the rest of us settle down. Hilary sits on my right side and Max is on my left while Daichi and Tyson fight over the other couch even though it is a two-seater and Daichi ends up on the floor.

Within ten minutes I have Hilary and Max clinging to my arms and hiding behind me. I think Kenny has fainted but I'm more or less pinned down by Hilary and Max so I can't check. Kai is laughing at Tyson and Daichi, neither of them are on the couch now, they're both behind it.

Hiro came in a few minutes ago, took one look at the screen, paled then said he was going out and practically ran from the room. It's that bad. And the worst part is, I can't move. Everyone else is hiding, but I can't because of the death grip on my arms. Not good, not good! I hear the music tense up and I can tell something is about to happen to the third-main character. Everyone cringes and buries themselves deeper into their hiding place. My arms are starting to go numb, and I cant turn away from the screen. Come on Rei, quickly shove those two off and hide. Go, now. Now. Now…now. Nope…shit I can't do it. Shoving them away isn't very Rei-like now is it? The character screams, so does Hilary, louder than the TV and she's not even watching! And what does this girl have against my poor ears anyway, screaming that loudly should be an offense.

And so it continues like that, I'm forced to watch two and a half hours of what can only be described as a gore-fest that made me jealous of Kenny's unconsciousness. By the time the credits are rolling I'm shaking like crazy and really want to puke. What kind of psycho director made that? Everyone else comes out of their hiding places and I have indentations on my skin where Hilary and Max were clinging to me.

"Heh, well that wasn't so bad." That's because you weren't watching the thing Tyson. I heard you screaming and you were only listening to it! That has to be the worst film Kai has ever shown us, _ever_. And I was forced to watch the whole thing. "Yo Rei, you okay?"

I'm sore, bruised, and now scared like hell. I'm not even going to answer that Tyson.

**So what did you think? It still doesnt beat the first chapter but I think it was ok. R&R and let me know. Once again sorry about the delay, exams are over so in theory I should be able to update more often! **


	5. The scarier side of Hilary

**Hey everyone, I'm back with an update in hopefully what can be considered a reasonable time. I'm glad you liked the last chapter, because I was seriously unsure about whether or not to put it up. Glad I did though! Thanks to all who reviewed, you make me very happy. **

**Disclaimer: (Forgot to put one in the last chapter, oops!) Don't own beyblade, not yet anyway…**

"Mmm, Rei you're cooking is delicious. What's your secret?"

Sometimes you just have to like Hilary, even if she can scream your ears off she's a nice girl that always knows how to cheer you up. But I'd feel a lot better if my great cooking talent wasn't down to my experience of pressing buttons on a microwave though. Don't get me wrong, I can cook, and well. But think about it, with a glutton like Tyson in the household would you really want to put all that time and effort to cook a great twelve course meal when you know that he'll probably eat too fast to taste it? Not me, so when Kenny gave me a crash-course on how to use the microwave I quickly saw its potential, and voila. No one has caught on yet, the fact I can cook almost anything in less than five minutes has never even occurred to them.

"Secret? Erm…it must run in the family." Technically I'm not lying, I never said it was _my_ family, and these microwavable noodles were made by a family business. It says so on the packet I'm reading. Yes, I can read the packet at the table and still no one catches on, maybe its not just Kai that sees me as a piece of scenery. Either that or the elders forgot to inform me that neko-jins can turn invisible at inappropriate times. For some reason the former theory seems more believable, then again the elders do have fun keeping the younger generation uninformed.

"Yeah it's inherited Hil, did you not know that Rei has tones of uncles world wide that are all chefs, how cool is that?" Max says while adding an incredibly large amount of mustard to his noodles.

Ok, so no one has picked up on all these 'uncle' things either. They're not my uncles, in fact I was the first one to leave the village, so how did all these 'uncles' of mine end up half way across the globe? Heck three of them aren't even Chinese! Our village is just renowned for making some great spices and the hard-core chefs journey out to learn of them. And whenever we had one of these mysterious visitors I would practically stalk them to learn everything I could of the outside world, and a few of them even took a liking to me and I became a 'nephew' of sorts.

Man, Max is still adding mustard to those things. I can't actually see the noodles anymore, its looks just like a bowl of mustard. I would be insulted if I had slaved over the meal for any length of time but now I can only wrinkle my nose in disgust. I can smell it way over here, and I'm at the other end of the table. Even Tyson has stopped eating to look at Maxie fishing out a noodle from under the lake of mustard and eat it.

We all pull a face when he's not paying attention, even Kai looks slightly grossed out. Well he can do and eat whatever he likes, I only wish it wasn't putting me off my own meal.

By silent agreement everyone except Tyson and Max push their bowls away. Tyson's eating habits we've gotten used to after much prolonged exposure, but when Max returned with this new fetish for mustard last year…well lets just say we've been missing out on a lot of meals recently. Besides that I now have numerous stomach injuries to take into consideration.

We wait until Max finishes and a brave two of us (Kai and Daichi) decide that it's safe to start eating again. Hilary and Kenny have yet to get over Tyson's gorging so they wait with me for the meal to end.

"Man I couldn't eat another bite!"

Yes you can Tyson, because I know for a fact within two hours you'll be bugging me to make you a sandwich seeing as your incapable of putting toppings onto bread. I didn't say that to be mean, he really can't! You should have seen the mess when I demanded that he try; now he's not allowed in the kitchen for anything other than eating, and he still makes a mess.

"Well that's good Tyson, because I was wondering if you could walk me home? I really don't want to go alone after that movie…" Hilary asks Tyson sweetly. Max and I share a glance, only us two really realising the significance of this. Hilary is asking Tyson in particular to walk her home, is she planning something, a detour to the park maybe or whatever it is that girls find romantic? Or maybe ask him out on a date or something?

"But Hil, doesn't Kenny usually walk home with you? Well part of the way anyway." Tyson asks, completely oblivious as to what Hilary is trying to do. Also she said she didn't want to go home alone after 'watching' that movie, it's completely understandable she'd want more reassurance than having Kenny with her. No offence to Kenny or anything, but didn't Tyson say they were both kidnapped once? I really don't think Kenny stood up to the role of protector there, and if he did then he didn't do a good job because the two of them were still kidnapped..

Hilary slaps her forehead, obviously annoyed that he wasn't getting the point. "Yes Tyson, but I'd really like _you_ to go with me." She leans in close and flutters her eyelashes flirtatiously. How more obvious can you get!? If he doesn't pick up on it then I'm going to bang my head off the table. Even Daichi seems to have noticed something going on and he's like…what 8? Actually how old is Daichi for that matter? Somewhere between 6 and 14 but that's all I've really been able to work out.

"But Hil, I'm a World Champ, I've got more important things to do with my time than baby-sit you."

Tyson you _idiot!_ Max groans and true to my word I bang my head off the table. Ouch, bad idea when you already might have a concussion but I needed to keep my word. Hilary looks downright furious and I'm sure I can hear Kai laughing slightly under his breath.

"Oh…so you mean lying around and watching TV, which you will probably be doing instead, is more important than me!?" Uh-oh, here we go. The watery-eyed look and the slightly higher than usual voice. She's pretty upset…the only problem with Hilary is that after she gets upset she usually gets very angry at whatever caused it.

However Tyson hasn't acknowledged that fact and is currently giving in to the watery-eyed look. "I didn't mean it like that Hil…"

"Then what did you mean it like Tyson!?"

Oh geez, here we go. Suddenly, to all our amazement Hilary manages to materialise one of the many bamboo swords around the house into her hands. How she did it I have no idea, as far as I know there are no weapons kept in the kitchen – minus a knife or two but I keep them well hidden – and Hilary is too small and wears too tight clothing to hide one on her person. Tyson's eyes are wide as he realises what he's just unleashed upon this innocent world. Hilary with a bamboo sword might as well be Voltaire with a bomb; too dangerous to be within a hundred mile radius. She knocks half the dishes from the table as she swings it so that it faces Tyson.

The old saying 'love hurts' comes to mind at this moment, but I doubt it was meant in this way. We're all helpless to save Tyson as Hilary could easily turn on one of us or unintentionally knock one of us out. I cringe, but can't help but admire Hilary's ruthless swordsmanship. I was never good with the sword back home, I didn't have it in me to cut things to little pieces but I could use my fists just fine. Hilary doesn't seem to have any of those sorts of restrictions. Yeah I know, I'm purposely thinking back to simpler times to take my mind off of Tyson's screams of pain. But whatever works I say.

Ok this is starting to get a bit gruesome. I take a hesitant step forward, _very_ hesitant. I don't think anyone would be eager to step forward into that brutal display of anger. Kenny is looking at me as if I'm insane, by that I mean his mouth is in the shape on an O. If his eyes were visible I'm sure they'd be giving me a 'what the hell are you doing, get back before there's another casualty' look.

Thankfully Hilary stops mauling Tyson before I'm within sword's reach of her. She drops the weapon and I take the chance and run forward to kick it away as a precaution. The weapon is retrieved by Kenny who is holding it as if it could explode at any second, which I really hope it can't by the way.

Hilary gives Tyson a quick kick in the ribs and before I can even check he's still breathing I'm being dragged away by my already pained and bruised arm. "Well if you won't come Tyson then Rei will. He's actually _nice_ and_ considerate_ and most importantly _not_ _a self-absorbed jerk!_"

How about you show your appreciation of these aforementioned qualities of mine by releasing my arm? Seriously with all the torture its been through today it's a miracle I've still got both attached to my shoulders, but one is starting to go a bit numb now from Hilary's grip so that might change soon enough. Seeing as I won't be able to escape this new duty that I so generously volunteered for, I'd better make sure Tyson is alright meanwhile. But of course Hilary is unlikely to want to give Tyson any sort of medical help so I'd best leave some last minute rushed instructions with Max and Kenny.

"Maxie, medical supplies are in the bathroom cupboard. Remember the black bottle is the cleaning alcohol and the blue one is the mouthwash." I can still remember the last time he mixed them up, my head was stinging and had a minty-fresh smell strong enough to make the eyes water for a week. "Oh, and if it's more serious then call an ambulance. I've got them on speed dial." At least I think they're on speed dial anyway, the manual for the phone didn't really help much. Max just nods dumbly, he's not used to being left with the more serious issues but he'll manage.

And then I'm dragged out the dojo, and since Hilary hasn't granted me time to put on my shoes I'm forced to hop down them while being dragged along and pulling on a shoe. And they say guys can't multitask.

Eventually we get a reasonable distance from the dojo and Hilary releases my arm which is now tingling uncomfortably. Man does that girl have a strong grip. And only then do I realise its dark. The street lights are glowing their dim orange color of course but the sky is dark…and I'm really starting to see what Hilary was getting at. I would definitely not want to be walking alone at this time of night especially after watching that gory gore-fest of a gory horror gory movie. Did I mention it was gory? So…on the way back then Hilary won't be there. Not that she'd be much use against lots of gore-liking monster/aliens – she doesn't have the bamboo sword anymore – but it's the company that is most important here, and if she's at home that means I'll have to walk back on my own…shit.

"Oh Rei, how'd you get that bruise on your arm? It's looks really painful!" Hilary that's the result of you dragging me half a mile, and yes it is painful. Being the naturally inquisitive girl that she is, she decides to poke the bruise just to check that yes, it is indeed painful.

"Some crazy girl did it." Wow I must have hit my head pretty hard earlier to have the guts to say that. Thankfully Hilary interprets it as the work of some crazy fangirl and is satisfied.

We walk in silence after that, which makes me really uneasy. Usually I wouldn't mind silence and would even be grateful for a bit of peace but…well the silence is unnerving me. It's not my fault, it's that stupid movie from earlier, which by the way I'm fairly certain has scarred me for life.

"So is there…uh…something going on between you and Tyson?" I ask hesitantly, it was the only topic I could think of and I'm not sure whether or not she's still angry about it. Hilary has been known to both hold grudges, and to forgive in the blink of an eye. She's a bit like Mariah in that way, totally unpredictable.

"Um…well, I'd like there to be." Aww she is totally blushing. "Listen Rei, could you do me a favour?"

Oh dear, I don't like the sound of this. But what else can I say, saying no would unleash the wrath of Hilary, saying yes might mean my doom. I weigh my options. Hilary's wrath, possible doom…I nod hesitantly. "Yeah sure, what is it?"

"I want you to make Tyson jealous. Nothing serious, just flirt with me when we're around him and he'll pick up on it eventually. He's not entirely stupid and will pick up on it eventually."

It takes a bit of effort but somehow I manage to maintain my calm façade. "Perhaps it would be better to see Max about that. He's better with the girls than I am, besides he's around Tyson more so you'll have more opportunities." Oh crap, please choose Max, please! I really don't want to do this and I have more than enough responsibility as it is.

"Hmm, good thinking Rei. I suppose you're right, Max would be a better choice. I'll ask him tomorrow."

Phew, thank you whatever god heard me, my mental prayers have been answered! This might put a bit of strain between Max and Tyson but those two might as well be brothers, and if Hilary's plan works then some good should come of it.

Suddenly a late-night jogger in dark clothing bumps into Hilary and I catch her before she falls over. I look for the man, expecting some sort of apology for running into her, only to find he's still jogging. Wait, actually he's running now, odd. I help Hilary stand up straight and frown. "Man, what a rude jogger."

"Hey, my bag's gone!"

Well at least some good came of today.

"Did you leave it at Tyson's?" I ask, even though I'm mentally jumping for joy that that evil bag has been misplaced. Hopefully for good.

"I had it with me when I left the dojo, I know I did. That guy stole it!"

"What, you mean the jogger in dark clothing?"

"Don't be so naïve Rei, that wasn't a jogger he was a thief! Now go get my bag back!"

I'm sorry Hil, now you're wanting me to chase down an innocent jogger which, though lacking in manners, probably does not deserve to be mauled by me or you for that matter? And even if he's not innocent, you're wanting me, a scrawny teenage neko-jin to chase down a fully grown and potentially dangerous man to save an evil bag that's too small to hold any more than my pocket? Pease forgive me if I'm not so eager to rise up to the occasion.

"Well Rei, what are you waiting for?"

The things I do for these people…

* * *

Five or ten minutes later I find Hilary waiting impatiently. I'm now sporting a ripped shirt for the second time today and I know I'm bleeding a bit, but that doesn't matter because I have saved the bag. After discovering that the thief which I mistook for a jogger, did actually have the bag I was more than tempted to let him keep it, but then my sense of pride and justice just had to kick in so I retrieved the evil thing.

"Rei did you get it? I heard screaming all the way over here, you didn't hurt him too badly did you?"

"He'll be fine in a while." I answer truthfully, though I'm slightly annoyed she hasn't asked how I fared. Must be because I'm not crying out in agony or something. I hand her the bag and try not to look too regretful while doing so. She grins and hugs me, totally forgetting that my torso was beaten black and blue by fangirls earlier and causing me to squirm out of her hold in pain.

"How did you manage it?" Oh so _now_ she realises the impossibility of the situation.

"My secret." Yes it is my secret but I'll let you guys know. Do you remember how I took two peppers from my garden this morning to wake up Tyson and Daichi? Do you also remember how Tyson received a different wake up call from Kai? Well that left me with one pepper and being the master chef that I am, I know that getting pepper in your eye is really _really_ bad. Hence all the screaming Hilary heard earlier, you're smart people so I'm sure you can work out what happened. Hah, see how resourceful I can be?

Hilary is opening her bag to check that everything that should be inside is there. Being naturally curious I peek over her shoulder, wondering what on earth she could possibly keep in there that's important enough to risk my neck over. I raise an eyebrow in confusion at the various tiny colored tubes and bottles.

"Thanks so much Rei, I wouldn't have been able to live without my mascara."

THUD

As I was saying earlier, sometimes you just have to like Hilary…but it's at times like these you just have every reason to hate her.

**I really enjoyed writing this chapter, I'm just trying to show Rei's relationships with the different characters. You may be surprised, but this story does actually have a plot which I plan to get into more next chapter or the one after. Well…a very vague plot. It's all really just a bit of fun. Well I quite like how this chapter turned out but you're the reviewers, so let me know what you think! R&R, it makes me happy. By the way can anyone tell me if I'm supposed to reply to reviews? I'm sort of new and am not really sure whether I should be replying or not. Oops I'm rambling! Bye!**


	6. The talk and the scheme

**Hi it's me again, with an update…which usually accompanies the pointless author's messages. So here we go again, hope you enjoy the chapter and I hope the update was quick enough to satisfy, then again if you're anything like me then you might be tempted to pin your favourite authors to a chair to get an update sooner. Oops, I hope I haven't given anyone any ideas now….**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Beyblade then there would be a lot more Rei in it, and the animation would probably be pretty crappy. (My drawing skills leave much to be desired)**

I groan as I finally complete my last circuit around the park. Now the park isn't exactly the biggest plot of land to run around, but when you have to do 30 laps of it and have been up an entire night, with a killer of a headache I might add, simple things like running laps become a far more gruelling matter. So by the time I reach the end of my 'short' run and collapse on the ground I'm pretty sure that I somewhat resemble a corpse. So corpses don't tend to breathe heavily or groan in exhaustion, but let's not get into technicalities.

"My statistics show that you're speed has decreased by twenty percent since last week. Are you feeling ok Rei?"

No I'm just fine and dandy here Chief, see all these bruises? Yeah those are just for show. And these bags under my eyes that are usually associated with sleep deprivation? Hilary just decided to attack me with her make-up kit this morning. Hm, I seem to be more sarcastic than usual today. Oh well, better make sure my answer is at least satisfactory and not rude.

"I'm alright Chief, just a bit tired." Understatement of the century! I don't usually get much sleep, but last night I got none at all. And no it wasn't because of nightmares, even if that movie had me jumping at shadows and various household appliances (I'm still a bit scared of some of them, blame the crazy technology-less upbringing). After taking Hil home and running back to the dojo I had a huge amount of cleaning to do, and laundry, and well, basically everything. And by the time I managed to get to bed the sun had started to rise, which wouldn't have been a problem if some bloody random bird hadn't decided to start chirping like a maniac outside. Needless to say, I soon gave up trying to sleep after the bird returned – I attempted to get rid of it many times - for the seventh time.

Daichi collapses after completing his laps just as I'm getting up. He may be small and annoying, but he can certainly move fast, albeit not as fast as Kai and I. Daichi doesn't care about that though, just so long as he beats Tyson, which he has. A slight victory which he dutifully decides to rub in Tyson's face a second later when the champ finally crosses the imaginary finish line.

"Hey Tyson, looks like I win again!"

"Yeah right I wasn't even trying my hardest. Plus I can still whoop you in a beybattle and that's what really counts!"

"Oh really, well if that's what you want then that's what you're gonna get!"

"3..." They both yell as they ready their launchers, despite being in a public place and with many observing people.

"2…" I can feel my headache getting worse, I really should just leave them to it but they could cause some serious damage.

"1…Let it…!"

Oh please no, think of the children! Ignore the cheesy cliché, but I'm not kidding around here. The Bladebreakers always have fans about, and in a park with beydishes etc, there's bound to be little children. Little beyblading children, that get all excited by seeing their great role models before them.

Why is this so bad, well what kind of suitable role models fight and yell very openly in front of little innocent kids? Trust me, I know from experience that young children can be easily influenced. Back when the BBA was a little hut surrounded by beydishes after the BEGA incident, when we were helping out we had to deal with a lot of kids. And I mean a lot. Because naturally the old championship team coming together to train kids was going to cause a bit of an uproar, and bring a lot of fans. However, kids don't want to follow their heroes, they want to be them. As I soon found out. Soon enough we had mini Daichis and Tysons at each others throats, and then little Hilarys screaming, and tiny Maxies all over the place and well, it was chaos really. But just to add salt to the chaos-caused wounds all of my fans that tried to be like me, upon realising just how difficult it was to try and sort everything out converted into miniature Kais and buggered off somewhere. It was heart-breaking really.

But back to the point. I am _not_ under any circumstances going to let these two beybattle under these conditions. Not only are the media stocking us – they're hiding in those bushes to my left and wearing some pretty bad camouflage – but I will not have them taint another bunch of innocent children.

"Pull those ripcords and you'll be running more laps than those pathetic brains of yours can count."

Well that was weird, I opened my mouth, and said something totally different from what I had intended in a rather scary manner. Not to mention the odd fact that my voice sounded suspiciously like Kai's. Then I see something really odd, Daichi and Tyson actually listen and lower their launchers. It's a miracle, someone listened! They actually listened! I'm so happy I could dance!

"We'll stop for lunch, everyone back to the dojo." Hey that's that weird Kai-like voice again, except I didn't even move my mouth this time…I turn and look over my shoulder, then promptly leap back in fright from my captain's glare. So they hadn't been listening to me…they'd been doing what Kai said. Well that ruined my happy moment…

"I won't say it again Kon. Get going." Kai calls back to me, and suddenly I realise I'd been staring into space. I wave the kids goodbye as I run out of the park, hoping to catch up before I piss Kai off even more.

As we walk back to the dojo I notice that Max and Hilary are really close. Hilary must have talked to Max about the whole make-Tyson-jealous plan. Well I hope she has anyways or else we'll have a love-triangle on our hands soon enough. Max has got an arm wrapped tightly around Hilary's waist as they walk, and Hilary is fluttering her eyelashes so much that I'm surprised she's not hovering. I kind of get the feeling she's over doing it a bit…

Then again Tyson was never that bright, and he's chatting to Max quite happily despite everything, which only makes Hilary redouble her efforts. Oh dear, I think we're going to have a very annoyed Hilary to deal with if he doesn't pick up on these subtle –cough cough- signs soon.

"Hey Rei, why are Max and Hilary doing that?"

I blink in surprise to see Daichi walking beside me. We don't usually talk that much, mainly because he's seemed to have developed some strange bond/obsession with Tyson and Max which I'm not going to question.

"Doing what Daichi?"

"Walking like that, and they're acting really weird." Daichi states, arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed in confusion. I really cant believe that Daichi has noticed and Tyson hasn't, its getting ridiculous. Hilary is now violently hugging Max right in front of Tyson in hopes to get a reaction. Correction, this _is_ ridiculous.

I obviously can't tell Daichi about Hilary's plan, so I'll just have to side-step the finer details.

"It's just what guys and girls do when they reach a certain age." I explain vaguely, but can't help but think that most guys and girls don't do what Hilary is now doing to Max who has now been caught in a bear hug of death. I'm so glad she chose Maxie instead of me. "You'll find out when you're old enough."

"How old?"

"What?"

"How old do you have to be to find out about the guy and girl thing?" Daichi demands, and I think it through carefully. Well the elders didn't deem us old enough until we were about…

"Twelve I think."

"Ha! Great, then tell me!"

Just the sheer thought of trying to explain it to Daichi of all people leaves me pale and choking on nothing but the air, thankfully by the time I've stopped coughing I realise something.

"But you're not twelve." Ok, so I'm not completely certain, but if it gets me out of this then who really cares!?

"Prove it."

Crap, he knows I don't know!

"You're not."

"Yeah I am! Hiro, how old am I?" Daichi yells loudly, Hiro turns round and looks at him startled. I notice Hiro biting his lip and frowning, meaning that he doesn't know for sure either. Come on Hiro, any number below twelve, below twelve, below twelve.

"Uhh…" Hiro seems to see the urgent look on my face and is hesitating more than usual with his guessing. He must know that his answer somehow connects to my fate. "…Twelve?" Daichi looks at me grinning, excited at the prospect of getting to know big people stuff.

Shit.

* * *

What seems to be a very long while later we reach the haven of the dojo. I set about preparing lunch while everyone else is doing whatever it is they do when I'm preparing lunch. Yes my knowledge of their locations is a bit vague but it's difficult keeping tabs on all of them at all times of the day. All I do know is that Daichi is somewhere on his own, and is likely not going to be wanting to eat any of the sandwiches I'm making. Not my fault, he asked and I explained. If the kid is traumatized then blame Hiro.

Speaking of Hiro, he seems to be talking at Kai about something at the kitchen table behind me. Yes talking _at_ Kai, seeing as talking _to_ requires some feedback. Eventually they appear to have come to a decision - they meaning Hiro - and call me over.

"Hey Rei, can we talk to you for a sec?" We? Is that just for the sake of politeness or are you actually expecting Kai to contribute here?

I nod nervously, not really trusting this since my last 'talk' less than half an hour ago had left Daichi looking very scared. I take a seat at the table across from them and pray that this is nothing bad and wont result in my gory and horrific death. Yeah…lack of sleep makes me paranoid, deal with it.

"Well Mr Dickenson has asked us to choose a…representative for the team of sorts, and after much discussion…" I guess that's what Mr D took them aside for yesterday, and suddenly they have my full attention, just because I'd been wondering what that whole thing was about. "…we've decided to nominate you."

"Me?" My eyes narrow, because I know there's a lot more to it than this. Things are never straightforward when Mr D is involved, remember that trip across Europe? Yeah, why didn't he just tell us to go have a look around for bladers instead of abandoning us in London? "Do I have a choice?"

"Nope, you see we've been asked to try out a scheme for the BBA."

"Apparently Hiro found our behaviour towards each other unsatisfactory and informed Mr D that something had to be done. Evidently he hadn't realised that this is how it's always been." Kai glared at Hiro, but I didn't notice that. I count up the number of words he just said in my head. Kai has just said thirty words in a row everyone, thirty! That's 1/10 of his daily limit! Maybe he's been expanding his limit for words-per-day recently.

I barely manage to stop myself congratulating Kai on his newfound speaking abilities and focus on what Hiro just said instead. "Try out a scheme?" I guess this must be how a guinea pig feels…

"Yes, it's called the BBASUB. Bad name I know, it stands for the Beyblade Battle Association's Scheme of Uniting Bladers. We're testing it out before Mr Dickenson introduces it to other teams registered within the BBA, and quite frankly I think we need it. The scheme is designed to help members of the same team improve their

relationships with one another."

"Alright, I'm following so far. So I take it the representative thing has something to do with this scheme?" Hey I can be pretty naïve at times, but I can still connect the dots, give me some credit here.

"Yeah you got it, basically this scheme involves each team choosing a representative. Kai and I selected you because you're the most responsible one of the bunch, that and we have enough duties as it is around here as it is." You forgot to mention the fact that I'm the most sane out of the bunch, yes you included Hiro, and I have my own fair share of work too you know! "In a nutshell the representative interviews the members of the team to identify the key problem areas, and then acts accordingly. It's pretty simple, and so long as the representative is acting according to a suggestion then everyone on the team has to give it a try. That way we can try new ideas and not have to deal with questioning. Understand?"

I just nod dumbly. Seeing as there's no way of getting out of it I'm stuck with this extra responsibility, but who knows, maybe it'll actually help. I chuckle inwardly at the thought, as if any weird scheme could possibly solve this teams problems, what we really need is therapy!

And then there's the slight problem that I've got to follow the teams suggestions, but at least no one's able to question them.

"We'll be explaining it to the others after lunch, so you might want to start thinking about what questions to ask meanwhile." I nod to Hiro and call everyone in for lunch.

Despite all the mayhem of eating lunch – or avoiding lunch in the case of Daichi, hope he hasn't been too scarred by our little talk earlier – I can't help but wonder why the hell I get dragged into the heart of these things. Then I shrug because I have more pressing matters to think about, no not the questions for the interviews, I'm just wondering if I can sneak off and get some sleep without anyone noticing.

And yet I'm still the most responsible…

**Well that was a bit rushed, sorry if the last bit wasn't too great, I'm not too happy with it but it needed to be put in and its hard to make an explanation even slightly amusing so I just rushed it. But it does have a point and it should direct the fic the way I want it, so don't worry if it was slightly crappy (don't worry Kara, this fic will not be discontinued and the humour will remain even if I have to watch comedy channels for three days straight) Anyways R&R and tell me what you think!**


	7. Attempted training

**Hey everyone, I had been hoping to finish this chapter a couple of days ago, but things just get popping up. Oh well, here it is, and still within a reasonable time! Yay! Thank you to all my reviewers and random readers of the last chapter, remember that reviews –and me I suppose - keep this fic alive!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Beyblade, at all. It's a sad affair.**

I can't help but groan as my secret hiding/napping place is finally discovered. I ate lunch quickly with the rest of the guys and excused myself before Hiro started explaining the scheme thing again. The time it took to explain combined with the time gained from my ingenious hiding place means that I managed to get a whole hour of sleep. Ok, so it's not much but I'll take what I can get!

So, I bet you can't guess where my hiding spot is…I'll give you a clue. Its outdoors, up high, made of wood, and slightly green in some areas. Not too hard is it? Obviously I'm up a tree right?

Ha, guess again. I managed to scramble onto the high, wooden and slightly mossy roof of the dojo. And of course, when searching for people who actually checks the roof? Well Max evidently because he's just discovered me and woke me up. Damn, note to self: find even more ridiculous hiding place.

I blink the sleep out of my eyes and only then realise the impossibility of Max finding his way on to the roof. I struggled to get up here, so how the hell did Maxie manage it? "Max, how did you get up here?"

He grins and shrugs, leaving me even more confused than before. Does that mean that _he_ doesn't know how he got up here, or is he just not willing to tell me? Either way it's certainly an odd encounter.

"Hey Rei, what are you doing way up here? We can't start training without you."

"Just getting some peace and quiet. Tell everyone that I'll be right there." I choose not to question how he found me, because then they'll all know that I was hiding, and then I'll have to suffer several hundred questions as to why I was hiding! See, it's good to think ahead.

I expect Maxie to get down the same way as he got up, but when he makes no move I raise an eyebrow. He must want to keep his roof-climbing route a secret, fair enough, its not as if it's the most exciting secrets. I walk to the ledge of the roof, the sloping and slippery wood not even bothering me, but just as I bend my knees to jump…

"Wait Rei!"

Ah, Shit! That kid is trying to kill me! Yelling just as I was away to jump like that, I may be a neko-jin but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have landed on my feet. Phew that was close. My heart is hammering against my chest and I turn round to glare at him. Man he looks scared, my glare must be improving, must be from over-exposure to Kai.

…

…

And he still looks scared, which is starting to scare me. I look over my shoulder, expecting to see Black Dranzer hovering right behind me. It's not. Well that's a relief. Maybe he thinks…?

"Max I'm not suicidal if that's what you're thinking, that jump couldn't kill Tyson if he landed on his head." I don't think I've been acting angsty lately, or ever, but really who knows what goes on in that little blond head of his?

"No it's not that Rei…I just realised that I'm scared of heights."

"…"

"Rei?"

And he only just figured this out now!? How many times has this kid been in high places, mountain climbing in China, in the Eiffel Tower in France, in half of the buildings in America? I mean what the hell? He only discovers his fear of heights now that he's stuck with me 12 feet from the ground?

"…I'll be back with a ladder."

* * *

"Hey what took you guy so long?"

"Max got stuck on the roof." I say bluntly and try to keep the amusement from my face. Failing terribly of course, because I mean, how often does one of your team mates get stuck on a roof? Then discovers he has a fear of heights when he gets there, and then discovers he has a fear of ladders. By the time he claimed to have a fear of 45 degree inclines (the slope of the roof) I actually checked that it wasn't April Fools. It wasn't. I swear these people are insane.

Everyone turns to face Max who is grinning sheepishly but strangely no one questions it. This is considered to be relatively normal around here. So if that's normal then…just what would abnormal be like?

"Hey there you are Rei. Guess you were already thinking up some questions huh?" Hiro asks me brightly, and you know what, he has such a proud look on his face that I lie by nodding. Well I couldn't exactly say that I snuck off and hid away so I could fall asleep now could I?

That's the weird thing about Hiro, he always looks pleased if you go out of your way and do any little insignificant thing. He bought me an ice-cream when he saw me taking out the trash! Then again with Tyson as a little brother he probably finds a responsible sixteen year old the greatest thing since sliced-bread. And sliced-bread really is great, you should have seen the look on my elders faces when I brought home a bag.

"Can we start now." And that's Kai once again phrasing a demand as a question. We all get the hint and Kenny quickly opens Dizzi and looks over that stats. Hilary leans over his shoulder and pretends to know what the two are mumbling about. Don't get me wrong, Hilary is a smart girl, but when Kenny and Dizzi are blabbering high-tech jargon I doubt even Emily could keep up.

"So that means that our first practise match should be Tyson verses Rei." Ah, now there's a sentence I can understand, but how Kenny reached that conclusion I'll never know. I take out Driger and take my place next to the dish and Tyson does the same.

"3…2…1…Let it rip!" We launch and to be perfectly honest I'm not really paying attention. Driger knows what he's doing.

"Rei, you're supposed to be working on your defence!" Oops, that's what I get for not knowing what the heck Kenny was on about earlier. I switch Driger to defence and watch as Dragoon charges towards him, only to fly out a second later on impact.

"…Defence seems to be working fine to me Chief." Which is really odd, I mean, a defensive manoeuvre that throws the opponent from the dish? Is that even possible? Well we like defying physics around here…

After a moment I realise that Kenny hasn't answered me so I look up at him, only to see him staring behind me open-mouthed. Tyson has the same expression on his face…sheesh what is it with people and looking behind me today?

Curiosity gets the better of me yet again and I turn round, and my mouth drops open too. Hilary seems to have found that hugging Max till he was black and blue wasn't making Tyson jealous so has now gone up a stage. Several stages actually, and is now enjoying a very energetic game of tonsil tennis with Maxie. …Well it looks like she finally got Tyson's attention anyway.

I wave a hand in front of Tyson's face. Nothing changes. I snap my fingers an inch from his nose. He doesn't even blink. Ok, so the kissing was a bit overboard Tyson, but this is just too far, he's watched plenty of teen movies and has seen this stuff before, so what if its your best friend and the girl I'm pretty sure you like?

Five minutes later and they're still going at it, and everyone else is still staring. For crying out loud! Has anyone got any maturity around here? Or at least some respect for privacy? This is getting ridiculous. I launch Driger, aiming just left of Tyson's head. Still no reaction.

And then…

"No, don't do it! I know what comes next! Ah!" Daichi yells and covers his eyes from the sight, then backs away and runs into the dojo. I guess the 'talk' with him earlier wasn't such a good idea, but as I said before if the kid was scarred then it would be Hiro's fault.

"What in the world is up with him?" Oh so now you decide to talk Hiro? Kenny seems to be coming to his senses too, while Kai…well he's walking away. Probably doesn't think much more training is going to get done here. And if he's probably thinking about what I think he's probably thinking about, then he's probably thinking right. Not much training is going to be happening now.

Tyson is still, for lack of a better description, shell-shocked. I however am not really affected, seeing as I know that this is just an arrangement and that this is not anything special. Max is putting on a really good show though, he may look sweet and innocent but he's been with more girls than the rest of the team combined. He really is the best for this job.

"I'm going to go see what's up with Daichi." I announce and leave the scene quickly, I would stay and try to get Tyson out of his state of shock but I feel more responsible for Daichi right now. Besides, the more he watches the more chance Hilary has of making him jealous.

I find Daichi hiding behind a sofa in the lounge. Why he was hiding behind a sofa, and how he thought that would help anything in any way whatsoever I have no idea, but I've learnt not to ask too many questions around here seeing as the answers tend to be more confusing.

"They're not going to do anything more than that you know." I say at last, getting a bit impatient that he's still hiding behind the sofa for no reason and refusing to say anything.

"Why'd they do that though, you said that none of that stuff happened till people were waaaay older! Its gross, its bad enough knowing about it, never mind seeing them at it!"

"Daichi you've seen worse than that on TV. Stop overreacting. Besides they're only doing that to make Tyson jealous." I sigh and realise that my headache has come back, this kid really knows how to make a mountain out of a molehill as the saying goes. I hadn't wanted to tell him Hilary's plan but the way things are going now everyone will soon know about it. I wouldn't be surprised if it was headline news in a few days.

"Wait you mean Tyson and Hilary? Eww, that's even worse!"

I sigh and nod my head in agreement. "Ok Daichi, Hilary and Max will likely have to do that now and then if they want the plan to work. Don't worry, I'll get involved if need be."

"Ewww, get involved in that!? That's not the kind of thing I'd want to get in the middle of Rei!"

Oh my god what have I done? He got the 'talk' just a few hours ago and already he's perverted! "No! Nothing that Daichi…" I force myself to stay calm and not whack him over the head or something. "Look I mean if things get out of hand then I'll stop it ok?"

He nods and I almost cry with joy that the extremely awkward conversation has ended. But of course after an awkward conversation something else equally as awkward follows. An awkward silence.

Daichi coughs. I yawn. He shuffles awkwardly from foot to foot. I stare at the floor. Damn I really really hate these silences. Just for the sake of something to say I ask him. "So the BBASUB thing…what do you think would help improve the team?"

And I really wish I hadn't said that, because now he's grinning at me evilly, and only then do I remember that I have to try out any suggestions given. Now I understand why they don't let children vote…

**Damn I hated that chapter. I think I might be losing my touch, I'll have to get it back somehow. Or perhaps it was because I was determined to get a chapter up today no matter what. The next update wont be for a little longer than usual, just because I'm going away for the weekend and can't bring my laptop with me, and that I'm starting my Higher Courses at school next week and don't know what the homework load is going to be like. Well I didn't really like this chapter but I've got something up and that's alright by me! R&R and let me know what you think. Hopefully I'm just being too critical. **


	8. Caffeine problems

**Hey guys, it took a little longer than I'd hoped to get this chapter up but I've been busy with new classes and homework and stuff. But here it is! Thanks for all the support guys, over 50 reviews! XD Not to mention a heck a lot of hits! Whooo!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Beyblade, have never owned Beyblade, but might own in the future about the same time the sky is falling. **

Quiet. Move slooowly, silently. Just pretend I'm hunting, that's all. Silent, stealthy, ninja-like. With all my training from the village no untrained city-dweller could ever spot me. I'm camouflaged, invisible, and my target is in sight.

"What the hell are you doing Kon?"

Then again not many people have to sneak up on Kai Hiwitari. That and it's pretty damn hard to camouflage yourself while in the multi-coloured over-furnished kitchen. But hey, I get points for trying right? Why am I trying to sneak up on Kai while he's drinking his coffee in the kitchen? Well…blame Daichi and the stupid BBASUB thing. You'll discover what's going on in a minute.

"Sorry Kai, it's for the BBASUB thing." I say getting up and walking over to the table.

"Last time I checked Kon, you're supposed to follow up reasonable suggestions. Crawling on your hands and knees through the kitchen doesn't fall into that category." Wow 26 words Kai, you almost broke your record. Careful you don't strain yourself.

"Daichi made a recommendation and I was pretty sure you wouldn't like it. So I was hoping to follow it through without you noticing…but that probably wouldn't have lasted long anyway." You'll never believe what Daichi suggested, in fact it's the sort of thing that would get any ordinary person hung, drawn and quartered. Then the remains would be fed to the crows which would then be shot and cremated. Yes, that bad.

"Oh." Kai actually seems genuinely amused. "And that would be." That wasn't a question, even if it should be. Kai states and expects answers, never ever does he speak in the form of a question.

"Well…he said you should lighten up a bit…" Well he's not glaring at me/killing me so I suppose it's safe to continue. "…and when I asked how I should go about doing that he said…"

"Said what Kon?"

"Promise you won't kill me?"

"I don't make promises that I might not be able to keep Kon."

Oh well that's reassuring. However I see the perfect opportunity, he's put down his mug of coffee…and I'm armed with two sugar cubes and a teaspoon…it's now or never. Before Kai can answer I drop the sugar cubes into his plain 100 caffeinated drink and stir with the teaspoon.

Yes, Daichi suggested that Kai have more sugar in his diet. Because he has practically none other than what's naturally in whatever he eats. He takes no added-sugar to the extreme, claiming that the stuff is the cause of Tyson's low IQ and therefore he should avoid it as much as humanly possible. Hence why I had to go to the extremes of spiking his coffee with the stuff. I have already hidden the coffee jar so that if our dear captain wants his routine 4pm caffeine dose then he'll have to make-do with his sugary coffee. Yes, I'm secretly an evil genius…an evil genius with a death wish.

Right, mission accomplished. Kai seems to have figured out what I've done now so it's time to make my escape. Technically he shouldn't be able to argue about it due to the fact that it's for the BBASUB scheme, but this is Kai. He doesn't like rules and right now he likes me even less. Time to make myself scarce for a little while…

Then I'm out the window, narrowly avoiding his glare which I'm convinced also doubles as a laser beam. Best to get out and let him cool down for a while, then again knowing Kai's temper it might be a better idea to start looking for apartments. Apartments in Italy.

Once I'm safely out of the dojo grounds I pause and try to catch my breath. I'm fairly sure that Kai can't launch Dranzer through a wooden _and_ a brick wall, then again if Brooklyn can destroy half the city and Kai beat Brooklyn…yup, time to go to Italy.

"Are you alright Rei? You look like you've seen a ghost." Not quite Hiro, but I just saw my life flashing before my eyes. How embarrassing would that be, being indirectly murdered by a sugar cube? I'd never be able to live it down. Wait, I wouldn't be alive to live it down. Great now I've confused myself.

"Yeah I'm fine. Just had a close call, that's all."

"Oh ok, well I got you a notepad to help keep track of everything for the scheme. How's it going anyway, have you started yet?"

I gratefully take the notepad and pen he offers me. That should help, I can keep track of what I manage to achieve and will also have some paper handy at all times in case I need to write my will really quickly, which I might just have to do if Kai decides to follow me. "Yeah I just started it a minute ago, I'm not sure if it's improved anything though."

"Yeah well keep at it, this plan is foolproof. I'm sure it will just take some time." I get an encouraging pat on the shoulder and then he's gone. Ha, Hiro of all people should know that foolproof and idiot-proof are two totally different things entirely.

Well now that I have the notepad I better record my first task. _'Daichi – suggestion: improving Kai's mood by increasing sugar intake. Results so far: negative.' _Not the best summary but it will suffice for now.

Just as I put the notepad away I hear a scream come from the garden. I thought it had been too quiet for a while. There is a chance I might end up coming face-to-face with Kai but everyone in that dojo can cause too much destruction to be left unsupervised. My headache makes itself known again but I ignore it since I have more worrying things to deal with right now.

"Get back here Max, I'm gonna kill you!" And that would be Tyson yelling, I was wondering when he'd finally start moving again. He'd been staring at the spot where Max and Hilary had had their make-out session for about an hour and a half now. Completely still. I suppose I should just be grateful that he's moving and I won't have to build a tent around him tonight or anything.

Before I can even find where all the commotion is coming from Max zips by me at a speed that could put Hiro to shame. Meaning that if he went any faster he might end up in a different dimension or something. I'm left choking on a cloud of dust. I thought I was supposed to be the fastest…

I see Maxie dive into a bush just as Tyson skids around the corner. "Where is he, Rei? I know he came this way!"

I discretely look at the bush where Max is hiding, I can see a pair of big blue eyes peering out in the most pathetic puppy look possible. If I just tell Tyson where he is and save myself a lot of bother but…look at those eyes. I don't think a psychotic serial killer could kill Maxie with that look on his face. Guess I have no choice but to cover for him then.

"Who are you talking about Tyson? I didn't see anyone come this way." Selective and careful truth-telling you see, I didn't see anyone coming this way really, I just saw a blur that ever so slightly resembled Max. This method works wonders, really, no guilt and no bad karma (well I hope not).

"Maxie, he just came around this corner I'm sure of it! If you know where he is Rei then please tell me!" No no no no no no no no, nooooo. Now Tyson is doing the infamous puppy look that he's perfected from watching Max perform it so many times. Ah, I can't cover for Maxie and help Tyson find him! You know the saying 'stuck between a rock and a hard place'. Well this is it, except a heck of a lot more cute and awkward.

I look over to Maxie in his hiding place, and I think he knows my problem because he can see Tyson's face too. "Shit." Yup, he can definitely see my problem, he knows I won't be able to cover for him. Especially now that Tyson just heard a bush curse.

"Did that bush just curse?" Well that question was inevitable, but that doesn't matter, because now Tyson has turned towards Maxie's hiding spot and I'm now free from the double puppy-look. Ha ha, freedom! Freedom! ...Lack of sleep is definitely getting to me.

Right, now just to save Max. "You must be hearing things Tyson, no one said anything."

Tyson turns away and I can see the bush give a sigh of relief, which really confuses me but hey, weirder things have happened. "I definitely heard someone curse Rei."

"Um…that was me?"

"What, but you never curse. Ever! I whacked you in the head with Kenny's laptop once and the worst you said was 'fu…fu…phooey.'" Funny how I don't remember that, must be another concussed moment…just how much of my life have I forgotten with all of those!? I only wish I could have come up with a better thing to say than 'phooey', concussed or not.

"Yeah well…I stepped on a stone, and these shoes are just useless for walking on gravel and stuff. It really hurt."

That has got to be the worst excuse I've come up with. Ever. Someone please come and get me out of this, because even Tyson wont believe a word of that. Someone please.

"Kon does curse, I heard him yesterday."

And now you can all hear me cursing a lot more, because when I said I wanted someone to get me out of this, I meant anyone but angry sugar-coffeed Kai! Surely it could have been Hilary, or better yet Hiro. Even Bryan would be an improvement at this point in time!

"R-really? Wow. Must have been that then. Well if either of you see Max about then let me know."

"W-wait Tyson." I stammer out as he leaves, unfortunately he doesn't hear me. A distinct rustling from behind tells me that Max has left his bush and is on the run again for a better hiding spot. No Maxie, come help me please! …And he's gone, great, now I'm left alone with Kai and no witnesses.

Suddenly I feel like I'm about to catch fire and discover Kai glaring at me. Ha, I told you that glare doubled as a laser beam! My eyes drift towards the item Kai is holding in his hand, I suppose I'd better see what weapon he's using in order to tell the police if I survive this. Wait, an empty coffee jar? Uh-oh, he must have figured out that I've hidden the lot of it…I don't know if that's better or worse than the weapon theory.

"Kon, if you don't tell me where you hid the coffee in three seconds I promise you'll regret it."

Never! My pride will not let me tell him where it is, even if I really really don't want Kai to keep that promise. Thankfully though my pride isn't quite strong enough to stop me from running. I decide to follow after Max, after all, he wouldn't have gone that way for nothing right?

On the bright side, thanks to Kai's 'motivational techniques' I think I'm the fastest in the team again.

**Woo, and done. A bit short but I liked this one! I should get the update up within a week or so, but if I don't then don't kill me, I'm getting there. By the way, can anyone tell me where I can read my PM's? Is there an inbox or something? Ah well, R&R folks, it keeps me happy!**


	9. A new Alliance?

**Ooh an update! Sorry it took so long guys, I had a load of homework and some writers block to boot. But it's the holidays and so now I can get some work done! Woooooo, holidays! **

**Disclaimer: Don't own beyblade, (insert some sort of imaginative and mildly humorous comment here)**

I poke my head around the doorway cautiously, good the coast is clear. No Kai.

"Kon where the hell did you put the coffee I just bought."

…I really should stop trying to hide from Kai. Countless attempts have told me its absolutely useless and just a waste of energy, but can you blame me for trying? The only caffeine he's had all day had sugar in it, which the way I see it is only going to give him more energy to beat me with.

Anyway when I was sneaking back into the dojo to get my wallet – to pay for a hotel room for the night, I left my wallet in my other pants – I discovered Kai had miraculously got his hands on a new jar of coffee, so I had to hide that away too. So if he gets another jar on an average of every two hours by the end of the week…I'll have to hide 84 jars of coffee…well I'm going to have my work cut out for me.

Needless to say, I run for my life. Dashing away I turn a corner and leap into the first room I find. Finding myself knee deep in junk I manage to identify the room as Tyson's. Didn't I just clean this two days ago? Oh well, maybe Hiro will raise the topic of Tyson's hygiene for the BBASUB thing. I try not to breathe too loudly until I hear Kai's footsteps and cursing fade away, phew I'm safe.

Actually now that I think about it…I remove the jar of coffee from the pouch I wear on my back to hold my beyblade and launcher…this will be a good place to hide it. I mean Kai avoids this place as if it were the source of the plague, and Tyson couldn't find anything in here if he tried so this is the perfect hiding place. I'll throw it under his bed for the time being and pick it up later when it's needed. Yup, good plan. I make my way over to his bed but someone opens the door. Shit, please don't say Kai has found me!

I whirl round to see Daichi with a bucket of some stinky liquid that I can only refer to as gunk, and a bag full of feathers. He blinks and tries to look innocent. I see his eyes drift to the coffee in my hand which I know he knows Kai is looking for. I blink and look at the odd items that are obviously supposed to be used to prank Tyson. We share a look before I finally decide to speak.

"I won't tell if you don't."

"Deal."

I hide the jar and hurry out of the room before Daichi tries to set up the trap above the door; of course Daichi is lacking altitude and struggles somewhat.

"…Rei…could you give me a hand?"

I turn and give him an incredulous look; I mean he's asking me, mister nice-guy that has apparently never done anything wrong in his entire existence to help him prank one of my best friends.

"Sure."

What? Tyson has been nothing but trouble lately! And besides, they always say I don't get out enough, I'm just trying new things.

Daichi looks really surprised but he gives me a grin as I walk over and begins to instruct me how to set it up, which I somehow manage without spilling any of that gunk on me.

I stretch as I finish and start to walk away, deciding it would be best to stay on the move if I ever hope to avoid Kai.

"Thanks Rei!"

I pause mid-step, did Daichi just thank me!? I'm actually being thanked for something that did not almost kill me!? It's a miracle! Or maybe the fumes from that gunk are causing me to hallucinate. I go for the second option.

Oh well, I'd best go see what the rest of the guys are up to. Tyson has been unsupervised for about twenty minutes so something is bound to happen soon, if nothing has already that is. The trick to surviving around here is to be at the scene of the crime before it happens, which may sound difficult but is really pretty simple. Just follow Tyson. However this theory does have its drawbacks, constantly being present means that I have more chance of being the victim of the crime, and well that just sucks.

"Aaaah! Careful Hilary!" That sounded like Kenny's voice. But what he yelled has me confused, I mean, Hilary isn't exactly a clutz, so why does she have to be careful? Maybe it would be best if I left it alone, I mean if its just Kenny and Hilary then what's the worst that could happen? But…now I'm curious. What are they up to? Why would…Damn neko-jin curiosity!

I follow the direction of the yelling and find myself outside in the garden and…why the hell is everyone wearing hard-hats? By everyone I mean Kenny, Max, Hilary and…why the heck is Dizzi wearing a hard-hat? Better question, how!?

"Uh…guys, what's going on here?"

"Hilary's trying to kill us all!" Thanks for that overdramatic statement Diz, but Hilary looks perfectly normal to me, not including the giant yellow hard-hat she's wearing of course.

"Don't be so overdramatic Diz."

"Take your own advice Chief, you were all 'Aaaah!' a minute ago."

Kenny's conversations with Dizzi are always weird, mainly because Dizzi is pretty weird herself. You should see all the odd looks he gets walking down the street talking to a laptop, its quite funny really. Some of the fans actually think he's crazy, which the rest of us find quite amusing to be perfectly honest.

I walk over to Max and ask him, seeing as I can usually rely on him for a proper answer. He just hands me a hard-hat, don't ask me where it came from because I haven't got a clue. One of life's mysteries I suppose.

"Ok Hil, when you're ready."

Now I'm really confused, what the heck is Hilary doing that requires safety gear designed for construction purposes.

"Okay Kenny. Here I go, 3…2…1"

Oh hell, please no! This better not be what I think it is.

"Let it rip!"

And all of a sudden I'm really glad Maxie gave me a hat. We're all forced to duck and dodge and jump as some pink and white beyblade (which is ever so slightly reminding me of Mariah) flies about in all directions causing a deadly but random path of destruction. Sheesh that girl could cause more damage by accident than Brooklyn can going psycho!

When the beyblade is finally embedded into a wall we all breathe a sigh of relief.

"Hey well done Hil, that was a massive improvement!"

…Please tell me I misheard that, a massive improvement!? That psycho cutesy beyblade almost decapitated all of us and that's considered an improvement? If that's the case then before it must have been like a blender with a jet engine being driven by a drunken monkey! Yeah my similes suck, so sue me.

"Oh yeah! This is so great, if I can blade then Tyson will have to like me back!"

Oh so that's what this is all about. Well good news Hilary, keep throwing that beyblade around like that and Tyson will do whatever you want just so long as it stops you from launching it again!

"Hey Rei, you used to teach beyblading to kids back in your village right?" Uh-huh, just where are you going with this Max? "…Well, maybe it'd be better if you were to teach Hilary…" Oh hell no! "…I mean, you have a lot more experience than me and…" And your looking for an excuse to get out of this alive and leave me to die instead, how thoughtful of you Max. "…and I've got stuff to do so see ya!"

Well there goes my speed record yet again. Man can that kid move fast.

"Hey, you know I really should get back to collecting stats on the Majestics for next week's tournament so…"

Who would have thought it, another potential athlete. Hilary should look into a career in fitness training or something.

"Aw, well I guess it's just you and me then Rei, we've only got an hour before Tyson shows up so let's get busy!"

…That sounded kinda wrong. Oh well that doesn't matter, what does matter is that I find a distraction before Hilary launches that beyblade again!

"3…2…"

"BEFORE YOU START CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION FOR THE BBASUB THING!?" Ow, I yelled so loud I hurt my own hearing. Guess that's what happens when you're desperate. At least it stopped her from launching.

"Yeah sure, but why did you yell so loud?" She asks giving me a confused look, for good reason I suppose, I mean it's not exactly the sort of thing you shout out on a daily basis.

"I'm just…THAT ENTHUSIASTIC!" Accompanied by my best cheesy grin and she somehow accepts it. Phew. "So…it's sort of general question but what do you think would improve the team?"

"Hmm…."

* * *

Well I suppose I should be grateful for managing to make her talk for the entire hour until Tyson returned (he was renting tonight's movie, I think I'll catch up on my sleep while everyone watches it) but I just can't seem to be grateful for it. I mean, have you ever had someone sit and talk _at_ you for an entire hour? It's hell. I took out my notepad and tried to take notes but I only actually got one down before I started doodling. _Hilary – suggestion: more varied training schedule_.

I admit that our current training schedule is a bit dull and repetitive, but it certainly works. Changing it after all this time might not be such a good idea but I'll run it past Hiro anyways and see what I can do. At least it won't make me risk life and limb, it looks innocent enough. Then again looks can be deceiving. Ok Rei, you may not be the sanest person alive but questioning whether a written sentence is going to kill you is slightly on the crazy side of things.

"Yo Rei dude, is the popcorn ready yet?" Oh yeah, and now I'm making popcorn for the movie tonight. And was it just me or did Tyson sound a bit like Gramps there? I hope Gramps language isn't hereditary or anything, since that would just be weird. I doubt any of the family would be able to even understand each other.

"Just a few more minutes Tyson, just get everything set up." Ok so it's already ready, I just want a couple of minutes of peace and quiet.

"I can't find the remote!"

Well so much for my peace and quiet. I grab the popcorn bowl and leave the kitchen to find Tyson running around searching everywhere frantically and I mean everywhere. Under tables, on the ceiling, under floorboards, behind picture frames, in vases, basically every random place you could think of. I suppose I can't blame him, I mean I did once find the remote in the toilet after all. Yeah gross I know.

"Hey didn't you hide it in your room earlier so that no one could change the channel?" Don't ask how I know this, its just one of those things that I accidentally find out everyday.

Tyson disappears and I go to find a spot on the couch. Hilary moves to sit in Max's lap and I know Tyson won't be too happy about that when he gets back. Oh well, I don't want to disturb the 'couple' so I sit next to Daichi on the other couch. Also it keeps me away from Tyson should he decide to attack Max.

Just as we're all getting comfy we hear an odd crash from Tyson's room and a scream of "DAICHI!" Oh yeah! I completely forgot about the gunk and feather trap! Tyson runs in a split second later, looking like some road-killed chicken (again with the bad similes) and spitting out feathers. Naturally we all burst out laughing, even Kai who goes as far to take a quick picture of him using his camera phone. I'll need to ask for a copy of that when I'm on better terms with him.

"You're in for it now Daichi, I know it was you!" We all stop laughing because angry-road-kill-chicken Tyson looks pretty damn scary. Don't ask how but he does. Well, Kai keeps on laughing of course.

I wonder if I should…yeah I can get away with lying just this once right? Besides I am partly responsible. "He couldn't have Tyson, he was no where near your room the whole time you were out."

Tyson blinks a couple of times, and I put on my best innocent act. I mean after all, who would ever suspect goody-two-shoes Rei to be involved? When Tyson finally storms off Daichi gives me an odd look of surprise and awe, I subtly give him a wink. You know…that prank was kind of fun. I'll have to ask Daichi to organise some pranks on the troublemakers, and in exchange he'll get a good laugh and I'll make sure he doesn't get the blame.

Hey, you know what? I have an idea. I think it's time for an announcement.

I, Rei Kon, have proudly made what I consider to be my first alliance and from this day forth it shall be known as The Prankster Alliance!

**And done! Phew, I struggled quite a bit with this one but it's up and that's what counts. R&R and tell me what you think! Or make a suggestion or whatever, I'm just happy with any input at all.**


	10. Kai's Revenge

**Hola, yes I'm once again updating later than I'd hoped and have no better excuse than I'm lazy. But hey, better late than never right?**

**Disclaimer:** **Don't own, haven't owned, and likely will never own Beyblade.**

Fanmail…fanmail…fanmail…fanmail…damn I'm going to kill Mariah one day. Best friend or not she's going to pay for forcing me to look through several hundred letters a week. Yes I'm well aware she's a good thousand miles away and not physically forcing me to do this, but it really is her fault.

"Rei, you know you're not supposed to reply to fanmail. Remember Miguel and that stalker? According to Mr D there was another kidnap attempt yesterday." Poor Miguel, I'm really starting to feel sorry for the guy. Being a celebrity and every teenage girl's fantasy isn't what it's cracked up to be.

"Yeah I heard Hiro. It's just that Mariah sends me a letter every week but she refuses to send it in an envelope which isn't bright pink!" Now you'd think that a bright pink envelope would stand out a bit, and in any ordinary household it would. Unfortunately the Bladebreakers suffer from truckloads of fanmail that requires two to three postmen to deliver. And of course fangirls have chosen pink as their standard colour of envelope…just like Mariah. I think you see the problem.

"Cant you tell by the writing on the front?" Hiro asks while his eyes drift to the various piles of fanmail I've been working my way through. I've spent the last half hour organising the lot of it into whose mail is whose so that I can lessen the amount I have to look through. Looks like we'll be having a bit of a bonfire tonight.

Oddly I notice that Kenny's fanmail pile has been increasing lately, and if you look closely it's the tiniest bit bigger than Tyson's. An article was published in a magazine lately that had claimed Kenny as 'mysterious' because he hides his eyes and avoids the press more-so than the rest of us. Since then he's had a big boost in popularity, people are comparing his mysteriousness to Kai now. Needless to say Kai isn't too happy with it.

"Not really, her Japanese writing changes almost on a daily basis." It does, Mariah has to write the address in japanese for the letter to get here and believe me, her writing skills leave much to be desired.

"Cant you just…you know say that you couldn't find it?"

Wow I'm almost shocked, how irresponsible you sounded there Hiro! If I didn't know any better I'd say that you were another lazy-ass like Tyson. "Tried that. When I didn't reply she went on a three day journey to the nearest civilisation so she could yell at me over a payphone." And damn that girl must carry a lot of change about with her, she yelled at me for 3 hours over the phone. I suffered from temporary deafness for about a week after that.

"…I guess you should keep looking then. By the way do you know where the coffee is?"

Ha! I knew there was some catch to Hiro being up this early and being this talkative first thing in the morning. My sharp hearing barely catches the sound of something behind the door.

"…I'm not going to fall for that Kai!"

I hear a few groans and curse words from behind the door and can't suppress a smile. In comes a very bedraggled Kai a few seconds later, looking un-caffeinated (yes it is clear at a glance whether Kai has had his morning coffee or not, basically its what normal people look like when they first get out of bed in the morning, except a lot scarier) and very grumpy I might add. Thankfully I'm safe from any beatings/ laser glares until he has his morning coffee, so no need to run right now.

"For god's sake Kon, just give me the bloody coffee before I slit your throat, tear your head off and feed it to a pack of angry dogs." …What can I say, Kai's motivational techniques are one of a kind. I laugh nervously and hand Kai a mug full of instant coffee granules that I had prepared earlier just for this situation. I flick the switch on the kettle and pray to the heavens Kai doesn't look in the mug.

"Kon there's sugar mixed in with the granules!"

Some higher power must be laughing his/her/its' ass off right now. Something up there must hate me.

Hiro looks confused, I guess Kai didn't explain the whole situation to him when he told him to find the coffee stash. I mouth the letters BBASUB to him and he nods, clearly not understanding but willing to go through with it because it involves the scheme. Fine by me, maybe he can stop Kai from catching me and torturing me to death.

"Kai you know you're not supposed to go against anything in the sche…" Hiro trails off because he's suddenly fearing for his life, Kai seems to have decided that Hiro was talking down to him and is now glaring so hard that I'm reaching for the fire extinguisher, whether I'll use it to put out the flames Hiro will surely burst in to or to whack Kai over the head with I'm really not sure.

Well I can't let Hiro get himself killed so I guess I should step in. "Don't worry about it Hiro, if he really doesn't like it then he can take the sugar out."

Ha, I'm a genius! Kai knows very well that this will be his only dose of coffee until lunch, so if he throws it out then he'll have to survive some other way. He also knows that trying to get every bit of sugar out of the mug will take more time than sanity will allow. With a grunt he adds the water, stirs and drinks. Damn am I good or what?

"Ok, well now that that's sorted, don't we need to talk about a scheme suggestion Rei?" Hiro asks while finally taking a seat at the table, furthest away from a very pissed off Kai.

Oops, I'd completely forgotten about that. I need to talk to him about Hilary's suggestion about some variation in our training. "Yeah, well Hil suggested we should include different activities in our training routine, she thinks the old one is just getting on everyone's nerves."

"Hmm, well I think she might be on to something there, it'll take a while to come up with ideas though. Any suggestions?"

"I have one, and I can arrange it to start today." Hiro and I are shocked to hear Kai speak, and actually offer to do something of his own free will. Hiro and I exchange doubtful glances, and noticing this Kai pulls off a very good innocent-Max impression. I have a bad feeling about this…

* * *

I knew Kai was up to something! I'm going to die, I'm going to die. This is all just revenge for the coffee thing, which wouldn't have happened if Daichi hadn't made that stupid suggestion. I'd kill Daichi if he wasn't my only ally and in the same boat as me. Actually we're not literally in a boat, but I'd kill to have one right about now.

"Come on Rei, swim some laps to warm up and then we'll get started. Swimming is a great workout and regular practise should increase your physical abilities substantially."

Yup, you guessed it. Kai knows I can't swim, and therefore in an act of pure evilness used his great fortune to rent out the local swimming pool last minute. How does Kai know this little supposedly-secret fact about me? Well I'm not really too sure, I think he might have picked up on it during the boat-ride to Europe when I kept making excuses not to get in the swimming pool. Yeah that was probably it.

So right now I'm standing at the deep side of the pool wearing nothing but a pair of swimming trunks that Kai so kindly bought for me when I pointed out I couldn't go because I didn't own a pair. Thank you sooooo much Kai. That was sarcasm by the way.

"Yeah Kon, you're not going to get any fitter just standing at the side." Before I can even process the fact that Kai is beside me I'm body slamming the water, causing a colossal wave despite my size. Ouch, who would have thought water would be so painful?

Now under normal circumstances when drowning you'd expect the person to put up a valiant struggle and call for help, I however, know that I can't swim a stroke and decide not to waste my breath. I'll just sink and hope that someone notices me before I drown.

…I'm screwed. Damn you Kai. I don't even have my notepad with me to write my will like I'd planned! Not that I could write under water but hey, we've all somehow defied physics before right? There's a chance.

Ok, this is getting bad now, I think it's time for that valiant struggle to swim because I'm running out of air and no ones come to save me yet. Wasn't Kenny at least looking my way when I was shoved in, and the splash caused by my most graceful entry must have caught someone's attention right?

Right ok, time for some quick learning. Kick legs and I should go upward right? Ok…I kick my legs and…am going down…I guess this would be why only a very small percentage of neko-jin swim. Maybe lack of air is making me uncoordinated.

Hey wait a sec…is that? Ah it's a sea-monster, swim away! …Of course my attempts at swimming away just bring me closer to the 'sea monster'. Oh wait, it's just a blurry Hiro. Damn water mucking up my vision. Suddenly I'm being pulled up towards the surface and I take a deep breath of glorious air. Phew. If cats have nine lives then I must be in the negative numbers by now.

I'm dragged to the edge of the pool which I cling to for dear life. Why, because its land, and I like land. Much better than sky, and infinitely better than water, water is evil! Land is gooooood.

Unfortunately Hiro takes my land-hugging as a sign of unconsciousness and starts to panic. As soon as I hear the words 'mouth-to-mouth' I almost roll back into the water in an attempt to get away. What? Just because I can keep calm while drowning doesn't mean I won't panic at the threat of that.

Ugh, I can tell this is going to be the longest hour of my life.

* * *

Hey I was right, this hour has been longer than any other, even longer than the hour Hilary spent talking at me yesterday. Daichi and I have just spent a gruelling hour being taught to swim by Hiro, while we wear embarrassing inflatable band things on our arms might I add.

Ok, well it's not too embarrassing since it's only my team mates here, but its just the fact that these bands aren't designed for people my age. They fit Daichi just fine, but even the largest set doesn't get past my elbow. This effectively means that the only thing that floats is my forearms, while my head and everything else is stuck under the water. On the bright side my floating arms are useful to indicate when I need rescued – 4 times and counting – and also indicates when Kai needs rescued too. Kai, needing rescued? Yeah well have you ever tried swimming while hysterically laughing like an evil maniac? Apparently it's very difficult, because whenever Kai sees my arms bobbing above the water he bursts out laughing which causes him to half drown. Laughing Kai? Yeah we're all terrified too.

No matter what though, I refuse to lose to Kai. I swear I'll get him back for this, and I don't mean just by putting stuff in his coffee. I think it's time I have a talk with my new prankster ally. Kai will pay for this! The battle is on!

**Man I'm starting to feel guilty for putting poor Rei in all these situations. Oh well, i suppose i could be meaner if i really wanted to. Anyways R&R, any feedback is welcome!**


	11. Progress? MaybeMaybe Not

**Hey sorry yet again for the delay, I've had a pretty hectic week. But who really cares about that, its update time! Just thought I'd take a little time out to thank you for all the support guys. And a special thank you to all those with the Godzilla-size reviews, I mean whoa, any bigger and they'd need their own postcode. **

**Disclaimer: I only own Beyblade in a make-believe alternate reality where I rule all. In other words, I don't own it. **

_Dear Mariah_

_Sorry for the delayed reply, there were postal problems again._

They sent far too many pink envelopes so your letter was camouflaged.

_I'm doing pretty well, thanks for asking._

I've survived here for three years; I think that counts as pretty well. Or award worthy.

_Things are pretty normal here._

As normal as ever, meaning complete and utter chaos.

_The rest of the team are doing well too._

Not including several near-death experiences since I last wrote.

_Did you hear about our fund-raising match against the Majestics next week? Will the White Tigers be attending?_

In the name of all that is holy please, please, _please_ come! Just give me someone sane to talk to for a little while!

_How is everyone back home anyway? What's happening in the village?_

Any word of normality is most welcome.

_Sorry for the short reply, I'm pretty busy and have a lot of training to do._

I need to go make lunch before Tyson resorts to eating baking soda again.

_Give my best regards to the rest of the team and the elders._

Maybe they'll remember me and demand I take a vacation or something.

_Missing you guys loads. Write back soon._

_P.S. Tell Lee I'm going to kick his ass next time we battle._

I sigh as I put down my pen and read the letter over again. Well it's true enough even if it doesn't quite say what I mean.

"Hey Rei, writing another letter to the White Tigers?" Hilary asks as she bounces in and peers over my shoulder. Thankfully there's nothing written that needs to be hidden from view, even if she could read Chinese. I nod in reply as I make a face and lick the envelope seal. Yuck, I hate doing that, but it's better than sending an empty envelope home.

"What do you need Hil?" Ok, so it's a little rude but really, she doesn't usually come and seek me out for nothing.

"Oh yeah, I need you to do me a favour. You know how we're swimming every second day now because of the BBASUB thing?" I can assure you it's not something I'll forget so easily Hilary. "Well I thought I'd join in on Friday, and I need your help picking out a swimsuit that'll make Tyson drool!"

Well that won't be too hard, Tyson drools over everything. That's why I store napkins in every room. It's just…picking out clothes for girls, swimsuits no less? It seems kinda awkward, plus I'd have to go into girl's clothes stores, meaning inevitable fangirls…let's see if I can convince her to take Maxie instead. "How about Max, you know he's far better with girls than me, and he'll know what Tyson will like way better."

Hilary gives me a look that says it all. No way in hell, it has to be me. Max's fluorescent green and orange ensemble from way back when has left a permanent imprint on many blader's minds. I get the point and nod reluctantly.

"Thanks a bunch Rei! We'll go shopping as soon as practise is finished!"

When she skips out and closes the door I bang my head against the desk I've been using to write on. "Greeeeaaaat."

I lie there for a few more minutes and almost doze off into much needed sleep when… "Rei! Where are you!"

I groan and attempt to get back to sleep, as uncomfy as the desk is I'd rather sleep here than not sleep at all. Evil Tyson, can't he last without lunch for five more minutes? Maybe if I don't answer he won't find me, plus he might build up a slight immunity to hunger. Hmm, so in theory if I keep delaying how often I give him food then after a while he should be able to last days on end. …Ok maybe I should answer, if only so I stop plotting methods of starving my team mates to death.

"In here Tyson, I'll start lunch in a minute!" I call through the dojo and lift my head off the desk with great effort in an attempt to look semi-alive. I need an aspirin…or twelve. These guys will be the death of me I swear. Either that or Master Tao's concoctions made from various insects and general icky stuff. Either way, I'm going to be gone waaay before my time.

Much to my confusion, instead of Tyson running through the dojo yelling 'Lunch!' or 'Second and third lunch!' he quietly enters through the door. Oookay, something is up here, my neko senses are tingling.

"I said I'd make lunch in a minute Tyson. You didn't have to come and get me."

"Oh…is it lunch time already? Actually I just needed to ask you about something."

I fall of my chair in a very ungraceful manner. This isn't about food? Who are you and where is the real Tyson!? In fact that doesn't matter; you're polite and quiet, so you can keep the old Tyson. With the new Tyson here I might be able to save some money on aspirin.

"Eh…you alright dude?"

Oh yeah, I'm still upside down and entangled in a chair with a very shocked and confused expression on my face. I can see how he'd think I'm insane or something. But better question, is Tyson alright? Losing track of lunch time is like Kenny losing Dizzi. Utterly impossible.

I pick myself up and mentally make note of how many more bruises will be added to my collection. I really need to be more careful. "Yeah I'm fine. What were you saying about…well not about lunch?" Maybe I misheard or something.

"This is important. Lunch can wait."

And there I go again, tripping over the chair and landing on my face this time. Ouch. Now I'm really worried, either my hearing is really in need of checking or Tyson has gone insane…or become sane, not entirely sure which.

I pick myself up again and try to act casual about it. So much for my timely clutziness. "Lunch…can…wait?" Does not compute. Never thought I'd hear those words coming out of Tyson's mouth.

"Yeah, I need your help to break Hil and Max up."

Ah, well that explains a lot. Aww, if he wasn't trying to 'steal' his best friend's 'girlfriend' for himself then the devotion here would bring a tear to the eye. Maybe I should just tell him about Hilary's little plan…wait that wont work, then he'll hate Hilary and then they'll never get together. I'm going to have to play my cards really carefully. Actually I suppose I should be acting surprised right now. "Why on earth would you want to do that! …I mean…they're really…eh…cute together? Why should I help you split them up?"

Ha, I'm a genius. Now he has to admit he likes Hilary else he thinks I won't help him. Damn this would make Mariah proud (she has the odd ability to extract any information she desires and bring the conversation to any topic of her choice, it's scary.)

"Uh…" Aww he's blushing. …Now I'm reminding myself of a fangirl. That's plain scary. "Well you see…um…someone else likes Max…and I'm trying to set them up."

That would have been a good lie, had he not been fidgeting, pausing, and not meeting my eye. Still I'll play along. "Oh…who is it you're trying to set him up with?"

I almost laugh when I see his eyes shifting about the room looking for inspiration. I resist smirking. What? I need to find some way to amuse myself. His eyes land on our group picture that was taken just after the first world championship.

"Eh…Kai?"

I slap my forehead. He could have said Emily, or Mariam, or even made up a girl's name. Hell he could have said Mariah and I'd have more chance of believing him. There are so many flaws with that that I think I've just lost what little respect I had for the boy. "Tyson that's the worst lie I have ever heard. And you'd better hope that Kai never hears about it or you won't survive the night. Just admit you like Hilary."

Wow what a good impression of a fish Tyson does, who knew? "Shhh, don't say it so loud! How did you know!?"

"Cat's are psychic." Ok, lying again, but it's just so fun to know that he'll believe it. He's looking scared already. "Anyway, I reckon that if you just told Hilary that you like her she'd split up from Max. Actually I'm sure of it. In fact I'd tell her right now, before she gets too attached to Maxie. Trust me, I'm psychic."

"What, you mean right now?"

"Yup, right now." It might stop me from having to take Hilary shopping for the swimsuit. As far as I'm concerned the sooner the better!

He tries to protest but I'm already pushing him out the door. What? I don't want to go shopping if I can help it. Tyson is my one and only ticket to safety and avoiding a scarring experience.

"Rei let go of me! I ca…" I cover his mouth with my hand. Sorry Tyson, it's you or me. Except you've got the better deal so be grateful.

"Hey Hil, come here for a minute! Tyson needs to talk to you!" I pat him on the shoulder and mouth good luck before disappearing. Well…trying to disappear. I make it around the corner before my neko side kicks in. I want to know what happens! I hear Hilary's approaching footsteps. I will my feet to move so I can respect their privacy but…

"Hey Tyson, did you want to talk to me about something?"

Hey when did I start peeking around the corner? Oh well, now that I'm here…no harm if I just so happen to overhear right?

"Yeah, well um….you see…" Go on Tyson, you can do it! Get me out of that shopping trip, I'm counting on you man.

"Rei what are you doing?" I whirl round to see Maxie with a soda can in his hand - we have to drink insanely large amounts of the stuff every day so we have enough targets for training - walking over and looking at me like I'm crazy. I don't blame him, I've been questioning my own sanity for a while now.

I put a finger to my lips signifying silence. Max looks confused but nods, I sign for him to come over and he joins me peeking round the corner and watching Tyson's attempted love confession. I feel less guilty now, since I'm not the only one 'accidentally hearing' it.

"Yeah well….I was thinking you know…."

Wow I can't believe he's been stammering for this long. Come on!

Tyson looks behind him and because he's looking kind of lost I lean forward so I'm visible and give him a thumbs up and my award winning fanged grin. I get a very nervous smile in return, you'd think a guy that a guy with his ego would manage to ask a girl out a lot quicker than this.

I duck back out of view as Hilary tries to see what Tyson was looking at. I give a start as I see Hiro crouching down beside Maxie. Guess he noticed something was up too.

"…Um….yeah so like…"

I resist the urge to slam my head against the wall in frustration. Spit it out already!

"So what you trying to say!? That Strata-Dragoon isn't strong enough to take on those royal…"

"No that's not it at all! Just listen to me Daichi. I just mean he might need a tiny bit of a tune-aaamphh!"

Hiro, Max and I simultaneously tackle and muffle Daichi and Kenny. Maxie even goes as far to cover Dizzi's speaker. Of course doing so does cause a bit of a commotion but I don't think Hilary noticed. I have a feeling Tyson might have caught on though.

"Hey what was that noise Tyson?" Hilary asks while walking towards our hiding place. Thankfully Tyson will cover for us, seeing as he knows I'm here at least.

"Eh…it was nothing! Nothing at all, just eh…wind….Not my wind! The normal kind!"

"Smooth Tyson. Real smooth." Hiro mumbles quietly and we all try not to laugh, Kenny and Dizzi have caught on, while Daichi is confused but going along with it.

"Yo what up homies, whatcha…" Gramps!? This is getting to be ridiculous. Next thing we'll have Mr D listening in! Thankfully Hiro has managed to get him to stay quiet and he joins us peering around the corner.

"…So I was wondering if…"

"If?" Good Hilary, prompt him a bit, else we'll be crowding back here all day.

"If…if…if you knew that Rei was psychic! You like that sort of stuff you should go talk to him about it. BYE!" Then Tyson is gone leaving a very confused Hilary behind who slowly follows after him.

Naturally we all fall over due to the sheer absurdity as soon as she's gone. All that for nothing!? You've got to be kidding me! And what's worse, Hilary will still be dragging me shopping later. How cruel.

Just then we hear yet another set of footsteps as Kai carefully steps over all of us as we lay sprawled across the hallway. He stops to try and assess the situation; obviously he has no luck and continues on his way. "Hn. I don't even want to know."

**I really have no idea what inspired that. Don't think it's up to my usual standards, but I won't know for sure unless you tell me. So R&R folks. Till next time!**


	12. Shopping Trip of Hell!

**Heya, sorry if the update time has been a tad longer than usual, you can blame Harry Potter for that. Anyways some of you might have noticed that chapter 11 went for a wander earlier on this week, I'm not entirely sure what happened there but it seems to have fixed itself and that's what matters **

**Disclaimer: Don't own Beyblade, wish I did though. **_**Accio Beyblade!**_ **Ok, despite my bad attempts at magic (once again blame Harry Potter) I still don't own it. Hmm…what other spells are there…**

Ok Rei, deep breaths. Keep your head down. If they don't notice you then they can't kidnap, maim or maul you.

"Oh for heavens sake Rei! You're in disguise, no one's going to recognise you!" …Does anyone else get the feeling that Hilary is annoyed with me? Well that's alright because I'm annoyed with her, saying my name out loud like that! She's going to blow my cover!

"Shh Hil, don't say my name out loud!" I whisper fiercely, glancing about through my over-sized sunglasses to see if anyone overheard. There are girls _everywhere_, and since there are several very popular beyblade stores in this mall there's a very high chance that they're fangirls. I tremble at the mere thought.

Yes because Tyson failed in his love confession to Hilary, I am now stuck sneaking about the mall in the best disguise I could come up with and trying to help her shop for swimwear. So far it's been nothing but nerve-wracking.

"Rei don't you think you're being a bit paranoid? I know you haven't had the best experiences with fans of late but this is a bit over the top."

"You think so?" I ask glancing down at the giant coat hiding my Chinese-style outfit and hair which I've tucked down the back of it.

"Plus people are going to think you're a pervert or something if they see you hanging outside the women's clothes stores wearing that."

…and just like that the disguise is gone. Then just as quickly we begin to hear frantic whispers from the crowd surrounding us that start seemingly innocent and then steadily get worse.

"Hey isn't that…"

"Think he'd give me an autograph?"

"Hey Rei would you sign this for me?"

"Oh my god it's him!"

"Wow he's so much hotter in real life!"

"I wonder if he'd be interested in…"

"I want your baby Rei!"

That's all the prompting I need to grab Hilary's arm and flee for the hills.

* * *

Some time later Hilary and I are hiding in amongst a clothing wrack inside some random clothes store while I try to catch my breath.

"See…I wasn't being…paranoid…they were actually out…to get me." I manage to gasp out while I lean back on a cushiony wall of clothing while being careful to avoid getting my hair caught on any coat-hangers.

"Just because…they were doesn't mean that…you weren't being paranoid."

Well that's actually quite a good point, so I'll ignore it and promptly change the subject to avoid embarrassment.

"Come on, let's just hurry up and get this over with. Now exactly what are you looking for so we can find it and get out of here before any more fangirls spot us."

"Ugh you're such a guy Rei!" ...I think that was supposed to be an insult, the tone she used made it sound like one anyway. But it was just a statement of fact right? So because it's a statement of fact and I have no other reply other than 'duh' I decide to play it safe by smiling and nodding. Ah shit now she's frowning at me! Girls are confusing! She must notice my confused look because she explains further. "You don't _look_ for what you want, you know what you want when you see it!"

Yup, very confusing. "…Ok so….where do we look for the thing you know you'll want when you see it?"

Hilary slaps her forehead. I guess I didn't grasp whatever concept she was trying to teach me. Instead she just grabs my arm and bursts out the clothes-wrack, dragging me with her and startling an old lady in the process. Oops. I'd apologise to the poor old lady but I'm already being dragged away. On the bright side if Hilary is in a bad mood then she should scare off any more fangirls. On the not so bright side, I now have to deal with an angry Hilary.

Sure enough Hilary drags me to a new store incident free. Yes I now have another large bruise on my arm from her insanely tight grip but compared to what the fangirls might have done to me it's nothing. However when I actually stop looking at my bruises and peer into the window of the store I don't know whether to blush profusely or go pale from fright, as a compromise my face manages to stay the same color.

"Hilary I can't go in there! It's a woman's…" I can't even say the word. I hadn't expected her to drag me into a store full of woman's lingerie! Oh crap, anywhere but here! I was expecting a sports shop or something!

"Oh come on Rei. It's not that bad. Are you a man or a mouse?"

"I'm a neko-jin!" I practically yell as she pulls me in despite my protests. I really try to get away, I mean really try, but this girl could probably wrestle a rhino and win. I never stood a chance. "Will they even have what you're looking for here?" She glares at me for questioning her and I drop the subject, seeing as she's carrying that evil handbag once again. I really need to get that thing away from her and burn it the first chance I get.

Then I'm in, and after a quick glance about the place I quickly decide that it's better to look at the floor as I follow after Hilary. I suppose I should just get this over with as quickly as possible. Then I can get back to the dojo and find out whatever plans Daichi has come up with for my revenge on Kai – I asked him before we left, he looked surprised but agreed on the condition Kai will never know that he was involved. And after that, maybe I can get to sleep and put this whole ordeal behind me. The fact I'm looking forward to getting back _there_ just shows how much I hate being in here.

I follow the sound of Hilary's footsteps while still staring intently at the floor and trying to keep the heat from my face. Of course it doesn't help that some people don't bother to pick up any items they drop on the floor…Hilary's right, I am naïve.

Suddenly Hilary stops so I stop too as she browses. She must have found swimsuits then. "Come on Rei give me a hand, which do you think is best?"

"Uh…" I point in some random direction. "That one!" This is why I told her to bring Maxie. Let's face it, coming from a tiny secluded village where there's only a very limited amount of girls of which are very self-conscious and consider showing off their ankles as porn and then jumping to this!? It's like running before you can crawl or something!

"Rei you didn't even look!"

With great difficulty I bring my head up to see what she's pointing out. "Hilary those are…" Right, what word can I finish this sentence with that wont be the death of me? Several options come to mind; skimpy, revealing, sluttish, x-rated. "…small."

"Yup! Which one do you think will grab Tyson's attention the most?"

"Uh…" Jeez I'm not cut out for this sort of stuff, I take a quick glance around the store as if something there will help me out. Of course everything I see just makes me go redder in the face, so instead I look for someone that might help. I could get Hil to ask a store clerk or something, but decide not to because that would be even weirder.

Let's see who else there is, I look around at the browsing customers and am grateful to see one or two other guys in similar situations as me. And over there…wait a second!

"Hiro!?"

"Rei? Hilary? What are you guys doing here!?"

Well we have a legitimate excuse, Hilary's shopping and I'm helping – or at least trying to help – so a better question is why Hiro would be in a lingerie store? That's just…odd. Thankfully Hilary is about and will probably ask the question that my neko side demands to know the answer to.

"We're shopping, but why are _you _here?"

Maybe that psychic thing I told Tyson was true after all, I'm getting a bit too good at predicting what people are going to say.

"Wait a minute, Rei, if you're here then…"

Now most people would think that this was just a change of subject on Hiro's part, but I think I see what he's getting at. "I didn't know that you were going to be out too…"

We share horrified looks. Why? Well simple, the sanest of our team are all out of the dojo, and we've left the worst troublemakers alone and unsupervised. Basically with us out there will be chaos, and Kai doesn't have the patience to deal with them all properly. Basically, we're screwed.

"Hiro, help Hilary. I'll go."

I don't really care what I've just volunteered for, the fact is that I'm ditching Hilary and getting out of that shop. Hiro should be a lot more help, and I'll be able to find out the reason for him being there later. I just hope that I've made a good trade.

* * *

…Should have stuck with Hilary. Why oh why did I not stick with Hilary? I mean, I only had to choose between a few near-pornographic bathing suits and then I'd have been out of there, and Hiro would have taken care of whatever happened at the dojo – well sort of – and then I'd have a lot less to worry about.

Ok, so I don't actually know what's happened yet, I've just gotten in the door and the entrance is a complete mess. But I was expecting that. What I was not expecting was…silence. Yes, it's oddly silent, the people dwelling in this dojo are loud so things should not be this quiet. It's…eerie.

I kick of my shoes and open the door, proceeding to search through messy demolished rooms. There's no sign of them anywhere. Shit, maybe they were kidnapped by evil scientists again…as if once wasn't odd enough.

Just as I'm about to dare to enter Gramps' room, which is off-limits due to the fact that no one really wants to see what's in there, I hear footsteps approaching. I'm grateful that I have an excuse not to search Gramps' room now but the footsteps echoing in the silent dojo are pretty damn scary. I'm blaming Kai and that bloody movie again.

Well since I have no idea what's going on I decide to arm myself. I pick up a small lamp, yes I'm aware that there's plenty of bamboo swords close to hand, but the lamp could probably do more damage…that and it's really ugly and somehow no one's managed to break it yet. If it smashes while concussing a psycho scientist then at least I'll have some fond memories of it.

I creep towards the source of the footsteps, they've stopped but I'm pretty sure they were coming from the sitting room. I press my back up against the wall and slide along it ninja-style. Spy/ninja Rei is back…armed with a lamp. Well whatever, I'm sure it could be weirder if I really tried.

I slide along till I'm back to back with the doorway to the sitting room. Ok, deep breath…3…2…1.

"AHHH!" I throw myself around the doorway with a battle cry and the lamp raised above my head only to find myself face to face with a very familiar beyblade launcher, equipped with beyblade and all. "Kai?"

Kai still has Dranzer aimed at my head so I put my hands up slowly. Maybe I scared him or something. Or judging by the glare I'm receiving just made him really angry. I look at the lamp in my raised hand…hmm…I still need to get my revenge on Kai, who says I can't whack him with it? Actually no, he could probably launch Dranzer faster and I quite like my head attached to my shoulders. Oh well, at least I can still get rid of the lamp.

Kai watches as I loosen my grip on my 'weapon' and it smashes on the ground. I'm quite proud, not only did it smash into tiny little pieces but I made it look like I only done it because I was at beyblade-point.

"…That was unnecessary."

I shrug. "So…where's everyone else then?"

Kai sighs and motions for me to follow him. I give him a confused look as he leads me to the laundry cupboard, what the hell? However when he opens the door I can see why the dojo had been so quiet. Bound and gagged and crammed in the tiny laundry cupboard are the rest of my team mates. Well….I never saw that coming.

I sigh and reach down to untie them, but Kai surprises me by offering an explanation before I even ask. "They were annoying me."

Well that just explains _everything. _Wait no it doesn't. "…and the mess?"

"You think they let me tie them up willingly?"

Damn you Kai. Now I have a heck of a lot more housework to do and you're the one to blame. I will have my revenge, I swear it!

…But I'd better tidy up first. But after that, you're in for it Kai!

**I really don't know what to think of this one, so R&R and tell me if you liked it or not. Oh, and wow I just realised I've reached the 100 review milestone! Thanks for all your support everyone, I'm really happy. Who would have thought my little fic could be so popular!? Oh well, till next time!**


	13. Revenge on Kai

**Ah I know, late again. Things have been a bit hectic around here lately and a series of events left me practically computer-deprived for far too long. And what's worse that I have to inform you about possible **_**further**_** delay on the next chappie because I have to go back to school on Tuesday (we have really dodgy holidays here). So yeah, oops. I'll try my best to keep updates regular though!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Beyblade…bummer.**

Need…sleep. Really need sleep, sleeeeep. Really, I guesstimate that it's around about 4am and I've just spent the better part of the day/evening/night cleaning up the mess Kai caused while on his little rampage of destruction. So it should be no surprise that I'm completely utterly exhausted. Despite all that I just can't seem to sleep. Even after counting several thousand sheep (which only succeeded in giving me an odd craving for cotton candy) and drinking several pints of warm milk (which did more harm than good, seeing as it decided to come back up after the first 3 pints.)

So why have I suddenly turned into an insomniac? Well I think it might be because Daichi refused to tell me what prank he'd pulled off on Kai and only told me I'd find out in the morning. Which is a neko-jin's equivalent of hell, or at the very least a form of mental torture. I need to know what he's done, so I've ended up staying awake the whole night –granted I would have been up half of it cleaning up anyway – and have received nothing but a headache.

Kai just got up a few minutes ago so I'm practically holding my breath. Did Daichi mean early morning or the regular kind of morning when the sane people wake up? Well only one way to find out I suppose. I get up quietly and stealthily sneak around the rest of the sleeping Bladebreakers. Minus Tyson and Hiro of course, seeing as they have their own rooms. Well, in Tyson's case I'd say his room is more of a dumpster, but it's too early in the morning to get technical.

I sneak down the hallway and keep all my senses alert for any sign of Kai. Ha, I hear water running, I guess he must be in the shower. I tiptoe outside the bathroom door for a while, after all, the bathroom would be the best place to set off a trap, since Kai would be the only one using it at this time in the morning.

I decide to make Kai's morning coffee (with extra added sugar of course) just so I have something to keep me occupied. Its a much better idea than letting my curiosity get the better of me and peaking under the door to see if the prank is taking place, because that would be pretty weird.

Sure enough after busying myself around the kitchen doing nothing in particular for about ten minutes, Kai makes an appearance. And what I see makes me choke on my tea. Kai gives me an odd look, which means that he isn't aware of what's happened. Wow, I'd say Daichi is as much a genius as Kenny…just in a different way.

"You know Kai…you might want to reconsider the face paint."

No Daichi hasn't messed about with the face paint, but that would also have been a good idea. Note to self, put something in Kai's face paint sometime soon. I barely manage to keep a straight face as I watch him turn around and leave, I assume to look in the mirror in the bathroom. Only when the door is closed do I collapse into hysterical fits of giggles…which quickly turns into loud evil maniacal laughter. Cue well placed flashes of lightning in the background. What? I can be evil…really.

A loud and angry roar is heard from the bathroom, I guess Kai discovered what's happened.

"WHAT THE…." The following is censored for younger viewers who can understand bad words and their meanings in several different languages. "WHO THE…." Yet more censoring, please bear with me. "I'M GONNA…" Ok this might take a while… "AND KILL WHOEVER DID THIS!" Ok I think I can stop censoring stuff now, I think he's done.

"AND AFTER THAT…" Ok, maybe not. More censoring.

Kai storms back into the kitchen and I struggle to keep a straight face once again at his new, bright and scarily Mariah-like pink hair. Well the front of it is more like the shade of Mathilda's hair, you know, sort of bubble-gum like. And of course since Kai has two toned hair, he now has a lovely shade of darker Mariah-coloured hair at the back. Hence why I told him to reconsider the face paint, it just doesn't match anymore.

"Who did this!?" Eep, glare of doom! Everyone take cover, every man for himself! No one else hide under the table, that's my spot!

Well of course I knew Kai would be pissed off, well pissed off isn't exactly the word. More like…angry to the extent of murderous intent, or something like that. But still, I still have a trick up my sleeve.

"How would I know Kai? I mean, since you captured and crammed everyone in that tiny cupboard yesterday they all have a reason to want to get back at you."

Ta daaaa. And just like that I've managed to get myself off the list of suspects and now I can act as Daichi's alibi if someone attempts to place the blame on him. I amaze even myself sometimes.

Kai looks crestfallen at the news. I understand why, he's disappointed that he doesn't know which one of us to tear limb from limb. The only reason he wouldn't try and get revenge on all of us is that we need at least four healthy bladers for the match next week. Really, the timing for everything couldn't have worked out better.

Now, time for step two of my innocence act. Act sympathetic. "Don't worry, maybe it'll wash out." I know for a fact it wont, Daichi is no amateur. I doubt nothing short of getting his hair bleached and dyed back will get that stuff out…and even then. But hey, what he doesn't know won't hurt me. "If not then you can just dye over it." I wonder if adding one color on top of another is like mixing paint? If so then I'm fairly sure Kai will have a lovely Oliver-green in time for the fundraising match.

"Hn." Kai grabs the coffee that I set out for him and drinks it all in one. I'm pretty sure that that's burned his throat raw because it was practically bubbling in the mug. Oh well, he doesn't seem bothered, in fact he's not even commenting on the sugar dosage – I've been steadily increasing it. By next week there will be more sugar than coffee.

Well I'd say that despite the lack of sleep, today is looking to be a pretty good day. Let's take a look at the scoreboard shall we…Rei: 2. Kai: 228 ….well, at least its progress.

Kai storms out of the room, probably to rewash his hair. "Kon, wake the others up. Training is starting early."

Ok, maybe this isn't as good a day as I thought. I don't even know what sort of training activity our captain and coach have come up with for today. Well I guess I'll soon find out.

"Wake up Granger and the old man too. I want everyone ready by the time I'm done showering."

What the hell…why would he want to wake Gramps up? I mean, Kai avoids that guy whenever possible. Then again Kai avoids everyone whenever possible so, well I guess I'd better get a move on anyway. I really don't want to question Kai when he's in a mood like this.

* * *

"Why do we have to be up at this time, Rei? It's 4:30! I haven't even had breakfast!" 

"Kai's in a really bad mood this morning. Trust me Tyson, its better if you just do as he says."

Maxie decides to then jump into our conversation. "Wait just a sec, Kai is in a worse mood than usual? What could have happened to get him so worked up?"

Daichi and I share a nervous glance just as Kai walks in.

Silence.

…followed by lots of hysterical laughter. I guess he didn't manage to wash the pinkness out then, not that I'm surprised.

"All of you shut up or I'll Blazing Gig you in your sleep."

Back to silence. Needless to say, the laughter quickly stopped. Hiro and Gramps appear a few seconds later, probably wondering why most of us aren't breathing just in case it's loud enough to evoke Kai's wrath.

"Yo lil dawgs. Your days training is hap'nin' in ma crib. You do as I do and you'll be tip-top rockin' bladers rippin' up the dish, you dig homies?

Sorry Gramps, I don't think I completely 'digged' it. Or should it be 'dug'? Does that messed up slang even have a past tense? Wow…I'm mean when lacking sleep, I'd better watch my tongue today.

"Wait! You mean we're all training under you today grandpa!?"

Thanks for the translation Tyson, I was kind of stuck there…Wait a second…please tell me that was a translation error or is Gramps really going to be our teacher for the day? I don't think this is what Hilary meant by a change in the routine but…if I mention it then Kai will kill me. Yup, best stay silent and alive, even if it will probably cost me my sanity by the end of the day.

"That's right ma man. Now which of you dawgs has ever swung a sword before?"

I hesitantly raise my hand, as do Tyson and Hiro. The rest of the group keep their hands down.

"What's this got to do with beyblading any how? Getting ourselves stabbed isn't going to help us win any matches." Good point Daichi, even if it could have been phrased a bit better.

"Actually we're working on the idea that _not_ getting stabbed will help you win matches. Martial arts should increase your reaction time, allowing your beyblade to move faster and more accurately, especially in rough terrain dishes with lots of obstacles. Your strength should increase too, and the motion of swinging the sword should also help your launch technique. Oh, and we're not using real swords, we'll be using the bamboo kind so no need to worry." Hiro makes a surprisingly great fill-in for Kenny when he's not around.. Yeah Kenny and Hilary are still at home in their beds, seeing as neither are needed right now and I doubt their parents would be happy if the phone started ringing so early in the morning. Lucky bums, I'm jealous.

"Right, now we're going to split into groups. Tyson and Rei, since you both know what you're doing…" Hey I agreed that I'd _swung_ a sword before, I didn't say nothing about knowing what I was doing. "…you two pair up and spar. Gramps and I will show the rest how it's done."

…I have a bad feeling about this.

My neko senses were right once again. An unarmed Kai is bad, an unarmed angry Kai is hell on earth…so who came up with the idea to give him a bloody weapon!? Wooden or not, getting hit by that thing hurts.

After a mere ten minutes our new psycho pinkette prodigy joined Tyson and I in the intermediate section, seeing as he'd already made mincemeat out of the beginners. It was horrible, poor Maxie and Daichi didn't stand a chance. I was his next sparring partner and I think I must have already suppressed the memory seeing as its all one big painful blur to me. At least I know that from now on I'll be subconsciously more aware of anything pink.

Max, Daichi and I all tend to our wounds as we watch Kai and Tyson get into position. It seems that Kai decided to have revenge on all of us after all, and what a better way to do it than this? He can beat the prankster to a pulp without even knowing who it is, all in the name of training. I'd feel guilty if he hadn't made me almost drown on several occasions.

Tyson looks terrified.

"Tch, I bet he's not even a beginner, he's probably been doing this sort of stuff longer than Tyson."

I'd have thought the same as Daichi, what with having Voltaire as a grandfather and all I'd expect Kai to be trained to use every weapon under the sun. But Kai's far too blunt and straightforward to lie about something like that. Plus he'd have been the first to show his superiority…well he's kind of done that anyway, what with practically obliterating us and all.

"I dunno, Kai is pretty skilled in everything he does. He's a bit like Brooklyn in most areas, a prodigy."

Also a reasonable suggestion Max, but…well from what I've seen from the last couple of matches, he's good but he's certainly not perfect. The technique is at a minimum and he's using brute force and speed more than anything else.

Putting all this information together I can only come up with one solution. "It's killer instinct."

We all hold our breath as Hiro does the countdown. I think Tyson is praying. "3…2…1…Fight!"

The following scene is censored due to insanely unreasonable amounts of violence and some minor gore.

**Well I really don't know what to make of that, so tell me what you think! R&R! Once again apologies for this late update and any more in the future, I promise I'll try my best! **


	14. Escaping and phone calls

**Heya, as I said before, I am so late in updating. I had expected quite a bit of homework when I went back to school, but quite a bit doesn't count as a mountain! So yeah, basically I haven't had a second to myself in ages, but an update's an update right? …Wait a sec…have I ever updated on time? **

**Disclaimer: Me, own Beyblade? Hah!**

"What do you mean practise is finished!?"

I wince and instinctively cover my ears, really what does Hilary have against them? I'll be lucky if I can hear anything else for the rest of the day.

"Calm down Hilary, we just had to finish practise early. None of us are in any state to do any sort of training today after…_that._" Maxie to the rescue!

"What do you mean '_that_'!?"

"_That._"

For those of you that haven't worked it out, '_that_' is what we're now calling Kai's psycho attempted-murder frenzy after his sudden change of hair color. Why are we calling it '_that_'? Well there are two reasons actually, first reason is that none of us really want to remember it, and secondly if we tried to explain the situation to Hilary then we would inevitably have to use the word 'pink', a word which is now forbidden in the dojo by law of Kai.

"Would you boys stop talking in riddles and just give me a straight answer!"

'_That' _isn't a riddle! It's an unreasonable and illogical abbreviation. But if I say that out loud I'd probably end up with an indent in my skull suspiciously evil-bag-of-doom shaped.I'd rather not explain at all but I'll happily tell her if it saves my skull…well I'll tell her an edited version anyway.

"Someone pulled a prank on Kai and now his hair is pi-…different. He got mad and beat us all up with a sword and claimed it was training. Now we can't train because…well it hurts to move." Max and Daichi nod along and point to various visible injuries to prove the point.

"I see…so then where's Tyson?"

Ah yes, Tyson. Well that's a whole other story, the ensuing battle/slaughter resulted in a severely beaten Tyson and Kai in an ever so slightly lighter mood. Tyson has now barricaded himself in his room and so far shows no intention of coming out. So we don't really know the extent of his injuries just yet, not that we're overly worried or anything, if he managed to make a reasonable sized barricade that stopped Hiro from entering then I doubt anything's broken.

"He's uh…recuperating." That's basically a nice way of saying 'recovering from physical and mental trauma.'

Hilary looks sceptical but she doesn't ask, thankfully. If any thing she looks thoughtful…which is equally as worrying. Luckily whatever she was thinking is interrupted by the appearance of a stuttering Kenny.

"G-guys, w-what happened to Kai? He looks insane! Who dyed his hair pi-" That's about the time when Max, Daichi and I tackle him and cover his mouth. As if bidden Kai steps through the doorway and sweeps the area with his evil-glare-of-doom. Heeeey…evil-glare-of-doom, evil-bag-of-doom, anyone else see a connection here? That's it, that's all the proof I need to show that Kai and Hilary are making some sort of evil alliance. Or if not them then at least the bag and the glare are conspiring…but that would just be weird.

Oops, complete tangent there. So yeah, it seems the word 'pink' is now a magical summoning word for Kai. Why anyone would want to summon Kai though I have no idea…well maybe the fangirls, but they don't count. Half of them are insane and the other half are psychotic in my opinion.

Kai 'Hn's' and leaves, well tries to until...

"Kaaaai! Wow that color is soooo cool! I'm going to paint my bedroom like that!"

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you the extended method of Kai-summoning, brought to you by none other than the soon to be dead, Hilary! Well if there was any conspiracies being plotted by those two there certainly won't be any more.

Despite all thoughts of honor and pride, I leave Hilary to gawk at Kai's hair and follow Daichi, Max and Kenny's example of crawling through the window to safety.

RIP Hilary. You shall be missed.

* * *

Needless to say we're all stunned as Hilary walks out the dojo, perfectly fine, five minutes later. Seeing as _anyone _surviving Kai's wrath just hours after _'that'_ does not compute, I was led back to my old ways of an incredibly superstitious White Tiger and yelling "Vengeful spirit!" (Old habits die hard.) Daichi and Max screaming "Zombie!" and Kenny calmly stating "What an odd phenomenon."

It takes at least ten minutes for Hilary to convince us that she was not a ghost, zombie, fangirl in disguise (Daichi's theory), or an immortal witch. Well to be honest I'm not totally convinced, but my suspicions will have to wait.

"So boys, since Tyson wont be coming out of his room for a while…and since you've got no practise….how about helping me learn how to blade again?"

We all exchange worried glances, after all Hilary is a scary blader, but if she could survive Kai's wrath unscathed then none of us are sure if its worth the risk saying no. So really it's all just a matter of which way we'd prefer to die, by Hilary or by her blading skills. Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place.

"So Hilary…how come Kai didn't ki-….get mad at you?"

"Oh I promised I'd get him some blue hair dye next time I go shopping. But don't change the subject Rei! Will you teach me to blade or not?"

Ha! So that's how she did it, bribery! But no that question wasn't for nought, now I know that it's safe to make an escape attempt since she didn't manage to defeat an angry Kai. Now just for an excuse….

"Hey Kenny…I think you got an email from Mr Dickenson for me." This is a little trick I picked up from Kevin some time ago, let's see if it works. The five steps of making a reasonable excuse. Step one: mention someone of great importance that no one wants to question.

"No I di…"

Step two: Interrupt anyone that tries to object before they deny anything.

"Yeah, that really important one, he said he wanted to see me ASAP about the scheme." Step three: Mention an event connected to the someone of great importance and imply urgency.

"I said I didn't get any ema…."

Step four: find someone to back your claim up. I give Daichi a significant look, and am quite impressed that he understands. Evidently he and Kevin use similar methods of coming up with excuses/escaping life and death situations.

"Oh yeah! That one, you better get there pronto! I'll come too…uh…there might be fangirls about, you'll need someone good-looking to grab their attention while you escape."

I feel a bead of sweat on my head and I'm pretty sure I have a disbelieving look on my face. Only Daichi could save my ass, plan his own escape while inflating his ego, insinuating he's better looking _and _acting heroic all in a single sentence. And they say only girls can multitask. Ok, maybe not _only_ Daichi; Tyson could probably do the same, seeing as I'm certain he donated half of his brain to Daichi. Really, they act far too much alike for it to be anything else.

"Yup, that's right." Yes I know I just agreed that Daichi was better looking than I am but I don't really care right now. It's time to go! "Well we don't want to keep Mr D waiting, let's go!"

And finally step five: make a speedy exit. We can hear the remaining three choking on dust that we kicked up on our way out…oops, maybe too speedy. Oh well, good luck to Max and Kenny.

"Sorry Hilary, but you see my dad's getting some new stock in today at the hobby shop, I should probably go help or he'll be working overtime."

Correction; good luck Kenny. Maxie's come up with his own excuse and is racing away to freedom. Poor Kenny, I hope he's remembered to bring a hard-hat again or we'll have another to add to the casualty list.

"Come on! Let's get out of here before the Chief spills the beans!"

Ah, that's a good point. Kenny knows that there was no email, meaning that he could tell Hilary any minute and then…well then Daichi and I might end up on the casualty list twice in one day. Is it just me or do I seem to be running away from a lot of stuff recently? Must just be my imagination.

"Hey Rei, that's the second time you've lied!"

Wow he's right, I hope I don't get and bad karma for that or anything. "Well it wasn't a total lie; I am going to go see Mr D about something for the BBASUB. I just didn't get an email. I asked Kenny a little while ago what he thought would improve the team and he asked for new beyblade analyzing software." Yes I know the idea of the scheme is to make the team members get along better, but when I said that to Kenny he told me that he and Dizzi had been having arguments about how slow the program was running or something, I don't really know, but the bottom line was that he insisted that this would be beneficial.

"Well have fun with that!" Daichi starts walking away and I'm rather confused, didn't he say he'd distract any fangirls or something?

"Where are you going?"

"To buy more hair dye stupid! I need to switch it with whatever stuff Hilary buys for sourpuss!"

I chuckle and try and imagine what Kai's face will look like when he realises he can't dye over his new pink hair color. It's going to be funny but I think I'll wear a few extra layers of clothing tomorrow for padding just in case.

Oh well, I can worry about that later, right now I need to get another one of these BBASUB suggestions out of the way. The sooner this scheme is over the better for me. I take out my notepad to record my new mission. Let's see…so far I've done Daichi's suggestion, Hilary's and now Kenny's. Is that all? Jeez I still have Max, Tyson, Kai, and Hiro to ask…This may take a while….

* * *

Half an hour later and after a record breaking four fangirl attacks I'm inside the new and half-built BBA building and discussing the recent developments and happenings of inside the dojo (edited version of course) with Mr Dickenson. A little while later we're joined by Daichi who tries his best to look innocent while carrying around a massive bag of hair products.

We quickly explain Kenny's suggestion and before we know it Mr D has called on some woman from research and development to whisk us away to find whatever technical mumbo-jumbo we need.

And that's when things started to get confusing…

"…this specialised system battle analyzer is only portable on operating systems which have…"

Cue headache.

"…with one of the most advanced graphical user interfaces…"

Cue need for painkillers.

"…only compatible with machines with memory of…."

Cue brain explosion. Ok, not really exploding, but its starting to feel like it.

"So boys, is this the kind of program your looking for?"

Daichi and I stare blankly ahead, eyes swirling from information overload. "Um…well it's not really our computer so…do you have a phone we can borrow?"

The R&D lady (BBA can't even afford name tags yet, pff) directs us to a phone, and after several minutes of combined effort we manage to get it to work. What? Give me a break here, the most recent 'invention' back home in China was a washing line. Really, I'm not kidding. And I don't think wherever Daichi came from is much better off either.

The phone rings several times before someone finally picks up.

"_Yo, wazzap who ever dawg you are."_

Ugh, why can't anyone talk in a way that I understand?

"Uh….hi Gramps, it's Rei."

"_Yo lil' dude. You're chillin' in ma crib dawg so speak like it."_

…You're kidding me right? I think Gramps is a bit more insane than usual today, must be because we made a mess of his martial arts class this morning or something, it's his way of revenge.

"Um…ok…I mean, yeah. So…Gramps dude…could I speak to…a homie….?"

"_Now you're rockin'! Sure thing dawg!"_

Phew, I hear some scuffling on the other end of the phone line till eventually…

"_Hey Rei…dawg. Gramps tells me you're 'in da hood' now."_

"Very funny Hiro, why does he keep calling me 'dawg' anyway, I'm a neko! Not a dog!"

"_It's just his way Rei, anyway where are you? Why'd you call?"_

"Oh right, yeah I'm looking for Chief. Could you put him on the phone for me please?"

"_Sure, just a minute while I track him down."_

I decide to give a bit of friendly advice.

"Follow the sound of clicking keys."

A few more minutes and then…

"_Rei! You left me alone to try and teach Hilary! I almost lost an eye and Dizzi's screen is chipp…"_

Whoever came up with interrupting was a genius, a rude genius, but a genius nonetheless.

"I'm at the BBA headquarters trying to track down new software for Dizzi, but I need to know if your laptop has enough something or other."

"_What something or other?"_

Well that's caught his interest.

"Um…hold on let me ask Daichi what the woman said, I can't remember."

I put the phone to the side then ask Daichi, who doesn't give much of a helpful answer. But eventually, between the two of us we manage to come up with something. I pick up the phone again

"Hey Kenny, it's me again. We need to know how many big meals your laptop can get out of a sheep."

"…"

"Yeah I know, it confused me too, but that's what the woman said…well somewhere along the lines of it."

"…_you don't mean Gigabytes of RAM by any chance do you Rei?"_

"Yeah that sounds a lot more like it." I'm quite impressed actually, Kenny's not a technical wiz for nothing, being able to discern that technical blabber out of my blabber is quite a skill.

"_Anything else you need to know Rei?"_

"Um…quite a bit actually…"

This is going to take a very, very long while.

**Well that was an odd chappie if I do say so myself. I kinda liked it but I wanna know your opinion! Oh, and also I'm going to aim to get the next chapter up in 10 days, after all I don't want to fall into bad habits and have even later updates. Oh well, R&R, give me your opinion…and I'll go start my English homework. Till next time!**


	15. Blackmail and Mischief

**Disclaimer: I do not own Beyblade in any way, shape or form. Well that sucks doesn't it?**

"Rei! Rei! You've got to come and see this!"

Oh great, I swear I'll be lucky if I get anything done today. After hanging around trying to relate techno-blabber to Kenny for three hours (three hours!) over the phone, eventually Kenny decided to put Daichi and I out of our misery and came round to the BBA building himself to swap much more reasonable techno-blabber with the nice lady from the R&D department. Of course, three hours of nonsensical phone calls and one hell of a migraine as a result tends to put you behind a bit on your daily schedule. So yeah, dinner is now two hours late, and now is likely to be a bit later because Daichi has latched himself onto my arm and is currently dragging me away from my culinary microwavable masterpiece, as well as possibly dragging my arm out of its socket.

"What is it Daichi? I've got to finish cooki…" Wow, and here I thought Daichi had just dragged me out of the kitchen to look at something shiny. This is waaaaay better.

It seems that Hilary got round to buying Kai that home hair-dying kit she'd promised. Not only that, but it seems that Kai has actually enlisted Hilary's help in dying it! I blame the two-tone hair color, if not for that I can practically assure you that Kai would be all DIY over the whole thing. And so now as Daichi and I crouch by the doorway we're greeted with an odd sight. Hilary seems to have dragged a chair into the bathroom, in front of the sink, with Kai placed on said chair, and showing obvious (in Kai's case almost undetectable) discomfort as Hilary roughly throws some sickeningly yellowy-green product on the –originally navy – darker shade of his pink hair.

"Ok Kai, now don't move or I'll get it wrong." Kai seems to take this as a threat and stops the minor fidgeting that he'll very likely deny ever doing. Haha, if only you knew what was coming Kai, if only you knew…wait, if only I knew actually, why the hell don't I know the end result of my own plan! I look to Daichi quizzically.

"Psst, what color this time?"

Daichi answers me with nothing but a grin and my neko curiosity is on the verge of a serious hissy fit. I want to knooow! I resist the urge to huff, I know that Daichi won't tell me so I have to find something else to keep myself occupied meanwhile.

"Kai I said don't move!" Daichi and I cringe as Hilary brutally takes Kai's head in her hands and slams it against the tap accidentally –I hope- on the way to rinsing his hair in the sink. Well I don't think she'll have to worry about him fidgeting too much any more, he looks dazed enough that I think Kai will remain oddly compliant for the rest of the process.

"Daichi….get a camera." I watch him scamper off and hope that he thinks to find the instruction manual to go with it, seeing as it just occured to me that neither of us rural dwellers are able to operate something as technologically advanced as that. Ok, I admit it. Compared to Kenny, Daichi and I are practically cavemen.

Daichi scampers back a split second later and I have…well a split second to ponder why he doesn't always run that fast when we're training. Weird kid. It's also enough time to re-ponder what Daichi is up to this time. I wish I had a color chart just so I could mix and match the possibilities.

"Teeeeeell me, what color is it going to beeeee?" I soooo do not whine as I turn to take the camera from Daichi. After being handed something a bit bigger than expected I look down...and promptly throw the object in my hand as if it was a burning hot coal. Queue slow motion effect as Dizzi flies through the air in a slow and dramatic arc only to be clumsily caught by a diving Daichi. Pheeeew! Collective sighs of relief all round.

"Daichi! What the fu…fudge are you doing with Dizzi!" Whoa politeness programme was a split second behind there. I can practically taste the soap in my mouth had the elders had heard me say the whole of that word... and weren't all half deaf...and blind. Scary thoughts, poor Kevin will never stand next to Lee during one of his not-so-polite rants ever again. Thankfully Daichi hasn't seemed to notice my slip-up, I've already tainted his possibly innocent mind enough in the past couple of days.

"What? It has a camera on it!"

Well, I did tell him to get a camera, although I had (wrongly) assumed he had more common sense than to steal Kenny's laptop, which is a feat in itself since I really can't picture Kenny without it, personally I could see him taking a bullet for that thing….wait a second.

"Daichi…what did you do to Kenny?"

_"Pff, it's what he didn't do that was the problem! He should have given him a black eye! Kenny just left me sitting there on battery power! Battery power! I have rights you…."_

Daichi almost dropped Dizzi (again) as soon as she started speaking. That damn laptop terrifies me sometimes, and also made me paranoid that all machines were secretly able to communicate. I know better now, Dizzi is just weird…although I'm pretty sure the vacuum still has something against me…evil hair eating nozzle appliance…

"Dizzi! We thought you were switched off!" Although I probably should have known better, I've never seen Dizzi switched off in my life. Closed yes, turned off, no way. The equivalent would be seeing Kenny sleeping, that's right, never happens and never will.

_"I had to switch to standby to conserve power. Neglect! Neglect!"_

We had to shush Dizzi as her voice…volume raised. After all Hilary was still on the other side of the door smothering half of Kai's hair in puke-gunge looking dye. There was probably a mute button somewhere on Dizzi but no way was I going to look for it, for all I knew it was next to the self-destruct button which may or may not be next to the break-everything-in-the-laptop-and-face-the-wrath-of-Kenny button.

_"Oh, and why shouldn't I be noisy? Something I should know about…?_"

"Dammit, Kai I said stay still! I almost got dye on the wrong half!"

Well…we're screwed. Nice timing Hilary, remind me to thank you later with a spider in your shoe. No, bad evil Rei! Be nice!

_"Oooooh, well what have we here..."_

Don't make the connection, don't make the connection, don't make the connection...

_"Sooo its you two responsible for our local grump's new fashion statement!_"

Dammit!

_"Now now, don't look so worried boys, I won't tell."_ Phew, sigh of relief, Dizzi has a heart somewhere in that plastic casing. _"On the condition that you two do something for me..._" A heart made of cold cold metal. I shall never trust anything more technically advanced than a wheel for a very very long time.

"Hey no way! You have no proof!" Daichi almost forgets to speak quietly what with the impending threat of blackmail and all.

_"Um...hello? Camera? Video footage? Audio recording?"_

"We haven't said anything incriminating!"

I blink, whoa Daichi, big word. Never thought you could process any words with more than three syllables, what with half of Tyson's brain and all. Still its true, we haven't said or done anything to give our (Daichi's) cunning little plan away, we could easily just be being nosey and invading Kai's privacy...which would also most likely lead to death via the evil-glare-of-doom. Death or death? Is there a third option that perhaps involves life? Life with all my limbs attached preferably? No? Damn.

And that's when I hear my own static voice not-whine. "_Teeeeeell me, what color is it going to beeeee?"_

...This...is bad.

"Ok, have it your way. Let's talk."

Re-situated in the sitting room and with sadly no photographic evidence of whatever is transpiring with Kai's hairdo in the bathroom, we set Dizzi on the coffee table and set to negotiating.

"What are your demands!"

Uh...Daichi, despite what you seem to be thinking, Dizzi isn't exactly a terrorist. She may be mean, sarcastic, and use horrible cheesy puns which are almost criminal, but I don't think its physically possible for her to do much else.

_"I'm the one asking the questions here!"_

Actually Dizzi, I thought you were blackmailing us...

By the time Daichi stood up and proclaimed that "You'll never take us alive!" I decided that I'd better step in or otherwise be prepared to suffer several long hours of cliché movie lines...or Daichi leaping dramatically in slow-motion through an unopened window and dragging me along with him. Whatever comes first.

"Let's cut to the chase," ...oh hell, now I've started. "What do you want from us Dizzi?"

_"Hmmm..."_

Like Mariah and Hilary, and probably many other women too probably, Dizzi seems to be one of those eh... (one of these days I'm going to find out exactly what is the proper etiquette in talking with things such as Dizzi) women/laptops who/that know what they/it want, but decide to pretend to be thinking about it for the sole purpose of watching you squirm. Or fidget at high speeds in Daichi's case. My only guess is that he's not been around enough of the female population to know of their cunning suspense building ways, but that can be forgiven, seeing as he's supposedly only twelve according to Hiro. I can vouch for that, being a grand - probably incorrect - total of four years older and still only able to handle Mariah in small doses. Loud girl, too pink - my poor eyes and ears.

_"Hmm...ok. But you have to promise not to tell Kenny!"_

Struggling...must not look too intent at prospect of secrets... Haha, yeah, that lasted all of three seconds, if I wasn't sitting on the floor, I'd be on the edge of my seat. Damn neko curiosity. I'm swearing to keep whatever it is quiet (I don't know why, doesn't she/it have blackmail material anyways?) before I even know I'm speaking.

_"Right, well...its about Kenny actually. He doesn't seem interested in me anymore. It's all about the programs and the processors now. It seem's like forever since we last stayed up late into the night playing solitaire..."_

Hold up, Kenny is neglecting Dizzi! And...how do two people, eh...two players play solitaire? I turn my head and exchange a confused glance with Daichi. Hey! He followed the exchange-glances rule! They grow up so fast...

_"...not the same anymore. I know his hobby is computing but he doesn't seem to remember that I'm not just some other program anymore. And now! Now he's off to see about some new software, and if I can't meet the demands and run it, I'm going to lose him to some 128-bit processor slut! And leaving me on standby, hoping I wouldn't notice! I just don't understand it..."_

I don't think I understand it either Dizzi...but for entirely different reasons.

"Have you spoken to him about, eh...your relationship problems?"

_"I've been trying but it's always,_" me and Daichi jump as Kenny's voice is replayed back from some recording or another, freaky laptops. _"No not now Dizzi, I'm busy. Can't it wait?"_

"Ouch" Daichi comments randomly. Thank you so much for your helpful input. Gold star.

_"Basically, I want the old Kenny back. I've come up with a plan but incase you haven't noticed, I'm a bit short-handed."_ Remember those criminally cheesy puns? Just when I thought we could manage a conversation without having to endure them. Tough luck.

So Daichi and I listen to her prattle on, and after a long boring conversation which was infinitely less interesting than what was going on in the bathroom at the moment if Kai's screams of "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!" followed by him using up today's quota of words which sadly all had to be censored was anything to go by, we finally got the gist of the plan. If Kenny gets a new hobby, he'll stop using Dizzi for mainly computer-ish tasks and they can once again return to the happy days of incomprehensible two-player solitaire.

So now there's a new entry for my BBASUB notebook.

Dizzi - suggestion: New hobby for Kenny

I can't say I planned to ask Dizzi her opinion on the scheme, but at least this way no one can argue with me, and I look very thoughtful in the process, and not at all like someone that just got black-mailed by a jealous piece of machinery...

I can hear the cursing of Kai is getting closer and Hilary's distant shriek of "KAI THAT'S BREAKABLE!" followed by a smash is all we need to hear for Daichi and I to grab Dizzi and make a break for the door. Looks like dinner is going to have to wait another few hours until things cool down...

**FINALLY! Right, excuses time, I could go into great detail but for now I think I'll just keep it short and blame it on life. If anyone wants the full explanation as to why this update is um...a few years late *cringes* feel free to PM me for the long explanation/list of excuses.**

**Just thought I'd let you know that I'm not happy with this chapter. I'd already struggled through 3/4 of it when I was asked to update AQAFAB (lol!), so thought I'd stop whining about it and get it finished and posted. Hope this was fast enough XD**

**Can't promise when the next update will be, hopefully my inspiration will hold for a while but I can only promise that I'll update within the next couple of months. If earlier then yay!**

**Well, all I can say is sorry for the super-late update and I hope you won't all be too harsh on me. I'm hoping my writing style hasn't changed too much so the fic will still read smoothly. Let me know your thoughts.**

**Sorry once again! T.T**


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